Manager

Kai returned to the Admin Room alone to add the goblins to the dungeon roster. He was tremendously excited by the addition. He could have taken the secret exit on that floor, but instinctively went up the public stairs without thinking why. On the way up the stairs, he passed the two goblins coming back from using the outdoor toilet, aka, the smelly hole in the ground, gathering an increasing amount of flies and potentially worse undesirables.

The pregnant goblin had one hand on her ripe belly and the other on the wall as she tried to navigate the steps. The other goblin, in brown clothes, had the neatest combination of pale green skin and deep red hair. She also had some lovely jewelry made of flowers.

He complimented her as he squeezed past the pair, “I like your earrings.”

The redhead distractedly turned her eyes on him for a brief couple of seconds, showing how haunted and full of pain they were, before looking away again. She didn’t bother to respond.

Kai wondered what had hurt her so badly that she looked that way, but felt too uncomfortable to ask it of a stranger. Isn’t that always the case? How often do we pass someone in pain, confused, upset, lost, lonely, or suffering in some way, and…keep on walking? If you saw an old woman weeping on a bus stop bench, would you pause to ask if she’s ok? Or would you think it too weird to do so? If you saw a man crying and screaming at a tree in the park, would you feel concerned enough to interrupt him and ask him if you could help? Or would the thought scare you away? Kai fought with his shyness, but by the time he worked up even half the courage to talk to her, the women were gone. He sighed, disappointed in himself, and continued up the staircase.

In the Admin Room, Kai found the goblins on his console and added them as residents.

Goblins (12)

Twelve??? That number must include the unborn ones. Either that or there were goblins he hadn’t noticed? Strange… A new message distracted him:

Dungeon Master

Level 6

“Yes! Passive XP for the win!” He could grow the dungeon by developing it instead of relying strictly on death. That was ideal. The supply of rotten people, even adventurers, was probably limited.

He paused at that thought.

Then he laughed, and laughed. He laughed so hard that a tear formed in one eye, and he wiped it away. “The supply of rotten people is limited. Ha! That’s hilarious. Also, fuck those guys.”

Level 6 provided all new dungeon-building options! Excited, he plunged into the menus looking for new additions because the system didn’t provide an update list. His jaw dropped. “Finally!” Grinning, he placed a toilet in the Admin Room to see how it was.

It was a rectangular box made of rough, unfinished wood, the kind that might give you splinters in the worst places. A hole was cut in the top.

Kai’s face screwed up. “That’s it? That’s not very impressive.” He leaned over the toilet and looked down into the hole, expecting some kind of magical plumbing or bottomless pit. He frowned and exclaimed, “Seriously?!” Grabbing the box, he lifted it off the floor; it came away easily. Where it had been was a plain ceramic pail. “Seriously?! Just a pail? This is the product of a legendary magical dungeon? You suck!”

Grumbling, he put the toilet seat down again. At the console, he reconfigured the Admin Room so that it had a cubby for the toilet. He put a door on the cubby as well. Instant bathroom. In a very basic sense. But what would they do with the pails after filling them?

Kai stood there thinking hard about it for a while. Then a realization hit him: they had a whole new floor now. He made some changes on the console, linking Floors 5 and 6. Publicly, you’d have to go through Floor 5 to get to 6, but residents could safely use the private stairs. He placed some torch lights on the walls, but was in a hurry to get back to his new residents. To make them welcome, he placed a cistern, two toilets, and more lights on Floor 4. They could rearrange things later, but this would be a start.

Something caught his eye, and he leaned close to the console screen. “You can turn torches off by twisting them sideways. Ha! Cool.” There was a secret button on each that allowed the sconces to turn on the wall.

Perusing, he found new traps. That was a relief. First there was a trip wire. Very basic but the system indicated that they would upgrade in time. Right now, they could only trip someone, but in the future, he’d probably be able to add effects like a bomb going off or poison darts coming out of the walls. So he hoped. He placed a bunch of trip wires around the dungeon. He wondered if they would annoy residents. He’d have to check.

The second new trap was just… “Evil.” He cackled and rubbed his hands together. “I can’t wait to see this one in play.” He placed this one on Floor 4 as well. Some new decorative items showed up: bones, rocks, and wall pillars. That was something he’d play around with later. For now, he wanted to get back to the goblins. He ran back downstairs.

To his surprise, Kai found the kobolds had all come out of hiding. About half had mixed with the goblin females and were happily chatting away and cooing over babies or bulging stomachs. From the slightly bemused expressions, but general happy atmosphere, and the way they awkwardly replied to questions, the goblins seemed to understand a smattering of the kobold language. There was one exception, the red-headed young woman. She stood on her own, leaning on the stone wall, staring at nothing, cheeks damp. She seemed very lonely.

The other half of the kobolds, including Rush and Rocky, were in a semicircle in front of Thump, who confidently towered over them like a king holding court, his lips twisted into cocky smirk.

The sight of the kobolds looking up at Thump with near worship in their expressions nearly threw Kai for a loop. He slowed to a walk as he approached. The kobolds chattered away amongst themselves, and all seemed to be asking Thump questions at once. It looked like fan girls mobbing an idol after a concert. He was giving short answers, his attention bouncing from one kobold to the other because they were all speaking at once. Rocky was bouncing on his toes, eagerly trying to get Thump’s attention.

When Rush noticed Kai, he broke from the group and hustled over. Excited, he repeatedly clapped Kai on the shoulder. “You make home?” He pointed to Thump.

“Make them residents? Yeah! I guess they’re going to live here too.”

“Good good!” Rush practically vibrated. When he looked at Thump, there was hero worship in his eyes.

Kai was slightly put out from everyone’s enthusiasm, but wasn’t sure why. “Everyone’s very excited?” He gestured to the kobolds.

Rush looked at Kai like he was strange. “Of course!”

“Because they’re goblins?”

Rush impatiently shook his head. “Look.” He pointed at Thump.

Kai didn’t get it. “Because he’s really big?” Thump was at least double everyone else’s height, more like three times, about the height of a short human man. He did have some muscles.

Rush gave Kai like a look like Kai should really know this. “Skin.”

“His skin?”

“Green and brown.”

“…yeah?”

“Brown!”

“Uh huh.”

“Color change!”

“Right. Wait. Goblins change colour?”

“Yes! Can change!” Rush pointed at Thump. “Be stronger. Get…uh…”

“New skills? Powers?”

“Yes! New powers!”

“So brown goblins are more evolved. Brown is best?”

Rush looked uncertain. “Don’t know. Some is other colour. Start green. Then brown. Then…yellow, orange…tomato?”

“Red?”

“Red!”

Kai was flabbergasted. Goblins evolved into different coloured versions, perhaps with different powers. That was awesome. Guess they weren’t trash mobs in this world. Or if they started that way, they didn’t have to stay that way. He wondered if they used the same levelling system that the humans seemed to have, or if it was different. Maybe it was even something biological. He was very curious. He made a mental note to ask Thump about it when he wasn’t being mobbed by eager new fans. Speaking of…

Yellow Flowers was in the thick of the female group, animatedly talking and holding a baby goblin. She laughed at something someone said and noticed Kai. Handing the baby back, she excused herself and bustled over. She waved, looking excited to see him. “Kai!”

He couldn’t help but smile and wave back. “Hi.”

She took his hands in hers and squeezed. “Goblins live?”

He chuckled. “Yes. Their home too now.”

Her smile widened, and she was too overcome with emotion to properly reply. After opening and closing her mouth twice without speaking, she just leaned in and hugged him instead. It was very nice. She patted him on the arm and bustled back over to the women.

Thump seemed to notice Kai for the first time. He raised a hand and called out, “There he is! Come over here, Kai!” He beckoned with a hearty wave.

With all eyes suddenly on him, and under the power of Thump’s charm, Kai stood taller than ever. He strode over, trying not to feel silly at the attention. His cheeks heated, and he wondered if gremlins blushed. Hoping he wasn’t, he eased his way through the kobold throng, who obligingly made way, many clapping him on the shoulders and back. In that brief moment, Kai felt like the man. It was a very rare experience, and he didn’t mind it at all.

Thump reached out and swept him in close so that the two stood side by side, a team. “We all got the invitation to become residents just now, and everyone’s accepted. On behalf of my entire family, thank you.” He gave Kai a manly nod.

Kai’s chest was so full of pride that it was in danger of bursting. He saw everyone looking at him and fumbled with a response. “It’s great to have you guys. I hope we can all be great friends.”

Thump roared, “We’re gonna make a great dungeon. The best.” He possessively kept his hand around Kai’s shoulders. “The make a great dungeon alliance. Am I right? MAGDA! Who’s with me? Huh? Who’s with me?” He raised a fist and cheered at the kobolds.

The kobolds probably didn’t really understand his words, but his closeness to Kai and his strong attitude were infectious. Rush, Rocky, and the rest of the males in the group quickly cheered right along. The women weren’t as vocal, but most smiled and seemed pleased.

Over the next couple of days, the dungeon was awash with activity. The addition of toilets was met with mixed emotions, but generally with relief. It turned out that the dungeon could generate different versions, including one for users with tails, which was nice, once the kobolds learned how to use the box and pail apparatus. A couple of older kobolds grumbled about it being unnatural to use a toilet, likely having spent their entire lives squatting in the forest or a cave, but it was also a lot easier than taking multiple flights of stairs to get outside the dangerous forest every time your aging bladder needed relief. Between risking wyverns and predatory trees, denting your dignity by using a box with a hole in it was the lesser evil. As a bonus, the little rooms with the thick metal doors were soundproof. Many people were thrilled with this advancement.

Likewise, the ability to turn lights on and off cheered folks because now they could make sleeping rooms dark. Another big quality of life upgrade. Of the two traps, the trip wires, thankfully, were immaterial to residents. People just passed right through when walking. The second trap, nobody could trigger, so it, too, was ignored. But, boy, was it gonna be funny when some adventurers finally discovered it.

Thump was everywhere. A people-person, he was constantly talking with others, most often the male kobolds, but sometimes the women too. His family, he seemed to largely interact with behind closed doors. He could often be seen shaking hands, smiling and laughing, making jokes that everyone laughed at.

Overnight, he became the biggest personality in the dungeon. With it came leadership. It seemed like everyone, Kai included, was running up to him to get his input on just about everything, and even if they weren’t, he was quick to step in and offer his own perspective. Just about everyone soon came to rely on his expertise, whether it was about where to place a bathroom, how they should arrange the mining area (something he was very invested in, along with Rocky and Rush), how to build more defences in the dungeon, like barricades, and how to organize people for everything. After all, he was Chief Thump, used to managing people. He moved with such confidence and authority, surely, he had to be good at it, right?

By necessity, because Kai was the only one who could use the dungeon system, he had to be involved in a lot of conversations where the dungeon was changed. When it came to putting the toilet room on each floor, Kai was there as Thump put deep thought into the matter before snapping his fingers and making quick, decisive decisions. He also had questions.

Thump stood in the mining room, brow furrowed as he thought hard about the situation. “Ok. Here’s what I like. What if we put the entrance there? Can we move the entrance? Does the dungeon allow that?”

Kai, unsure, had to go upstairs and check. When he returned, he replied, “There seems to be a timer on it. It’s too soon to move it right now.”

“Hmm. Ok. I see. That’s too bad.” Thump rested his chin on his fist, thinking more. Soon enough he said, “Ok, here’s what we do.” Then explained how they should lay out the mining area.

To Kai, it seemed an odd way to do it because the workflow didn’t seem like it would be smooth, but what did he know? He kept his mouth shut, and the kobolds, hanging on Thump’s every decision, put the plan into action, building tables and baskets to hold ore.

After Kai had been up and down the stairs at least six times to check things through the system and make changes, Thump finally turned to Kai. “It must be such a pain going up and down like that.”

Kai wince. “Yup. My legs are killing me. I’ve never done this many stairs in my life.” He was going to have to introduce the technology of the elevator to this world soon. Maybe escalators in the private section.

Thump looked sympathetic. Then he appeared to have a sudden idea. “Oh. You know, maybe it would be more efficient to have more than one person using the console. Have you thought about that?”

Kai hesitated. “Uh, I think only I can use it?”

“But you’re not sure.”

“Well…”

“It’s ok. It’s fine. I mean, if you don’t mind all that running up and down. And, you know, every time we have even a little issue, day or night, someone has to come find you, maybe wake you up, just to do any little thing.”

“True…”

“You know, if you want, and I’m not saying you have to, but if you want, if you feel comfortable enough, if you think that you can trust me, if you can see that I have everyone’s best interests at heart and would do a good job, you could, you know, add me to the system as well.”

“Make…make you an admin?”

“Sure. You know. Only if you want. I mean, I get it, hey, maybe you don’t trust me. That’s fair. I get it.”

“No! Of course, I trust you!”

Thump appeared humbled. “Thank you. That means a lot.” In a very persuasive tone, he continued, “Well, if you think you can trust me, it should make things a lot easier, adding me to the system. I mean, we’re a team, right?” He flashed that winning smile. “We’re gonna make this dungeon great. Super great. We already are, aren’t we?”

“Yeah!” It had felt like a very productive and communal two days. Kai still felt awkward about the idea of adding Thump to the system as an administrator. Was that really the right thing to do? Under the other man’s kindly gaze, trusted by someone who was obviously so competent and amazing, Kai couldn’t come up with any reason not to add him. If they were going to do this thing together, then it made sense to share the responsibility and access, right?

Kai led Thump upstairs, and the big hobgoblin patiently waited with his hands behind his back, calmly admiring the Admin Room from the doorway. Kai nervously went to the console and dove into the main settings. He was pretty sure that adding another role like his was impossible.

To his surprise, there was a similar secondary role to Administrator called Manager. “Oh! It looks like I can add you.”

Thump’s smile spread wider.

Kai clicked on Thump’s image in the system and clicked ADD.