Welcome New Partner

Relaxing, Thump looked around. “How about a tour? I’m really excited to see this place.” With his confidence and quick adjustment to the situation, he exuded natural charisma.

Since Kai had a good feeling about the impressive goblin, he was excited to oblige. After all, their little dungeon was growing fast, and he was…well, a little proud of it. As soon as that thought happened upon him, he felt his little gremlin chest swell, his back straighten, and he smiled widely, not bothering to hide all his sharp teeth. “Yeah. Sure. Come on!” He waved the much taller and larger Thump to follow.

Thump looked at the other goblins and jerked his head to indicate they should come too.

As they were already on the second floor, it was the natural place to start. Earlier, Kai had finally put up wall sconces for lighting in the dungeon. He and the others might see ok in the dark, but this made it much nicer. The small torches were set in iron holders high on the walls and burned continuously with only the barest hint of heat and smoke, obviously magical. The firelight warmed the color of the uneven, gray stone blocks in the walls and floor.

The second floor had a dumbbell shape, with the stairs up and down in the middle. The secret private rooms, which matched the public rooms in size, could be accessed from a secret door in one side of the dumbbell shape. The kobolds had all vanished, likely hiding in the private section.

Kai led Chief Thump down the hall and proudly gestured to the first room. “As you can see, this floor is where our kobolds have been taking up residence. We’re thinking of making these rooms the crafting area. Apparently, they’re big on making candles. But they’ve also been creating lots of things, like beds and furniture. They’re really handy.” Kai was genuinely impressed. He might have come from a more ‘advanced’ world, but he didn’t have the slightest clue about how to weave a basket out of grass, let alone do anything even more complicated.

Thump slowly nodded but seemed to be suppressing disappointment. “Just, uh, grass beds, huh? Furniture made of branches? Not interested in building anything nicer?” He gave Kai an inquiring look.

Kai twinged with embarrassment. Apparently, this goblin was used to nicer living arrangements. “Oh, yeah, for sure. But, you know, we just haven’t had time yet.”

“Of course!” Thump quickly smiled again and patted Kai on the shoulder. “These things take time.”

It felt weirdly good to experience the big chief’s approval. As they descended to the third floor next, Kai girded himself and took a big breath. He knew there wasn’t much to show, and the dungeon wasn’t very impressive. He was suddenly kind of ashamed and tried, and failed, to suppress it. The third floor’s rooms were all in a line. The first two were pretty bare because they were going to be used for processing ore, so there was nothing much to see. Then Kai saw the mine. His confidence rose. “Ah! We just opened a mine. The kobolds are all really excited about it.” Rocky, especially, was over the moon still, and his enthusiasm was catching on with the younger kobolds who evidently hadn’t experienced this part of kobold culture yet.

Thump’s brows and interest rose. “Oh? Excellent! What are you mining? Gold? Gems?” He looked into the opening of the hole in the wall, but it barely went through the stone wall. He looked around as if confused.

Kai scratched his head, a nervous tic. “Uh, we don’t know yet. Again, just started. But maybe there’ll be gold! That would be cool.” It would solve all his money problems! But he suspected life wasn’t going to be that easy. Why would anyone make and sell dungeon cores that could generate their own wealth? It would be too easy to pay back the seller. Kai was probably going to have to find ways of making his own money.

Thump seemed to force his smile to return. “Sure. Who knows, right? Probably nothing worth mining for if you’re just digging at random into the ground, but hey, sometimes people get lucky. This could be the perfect spot. We might be sitting on a fortune and not know it yet.” It didn’t sound like he believed this and was only being polite.

“I hope so!” Kai weakly laughed.

Thump smiled wider. “Just think of it, pulling all kinds of precious metals out of the ground. Diamonds as fat as your fist. Wouldn’t that be great?”

“Definitely!”

“We could do great things with that kind of money. Really fill things out. Proper furniture.”

Kai winced. Now that Thump was here to see the dungeon, he found himself wishing it was more impressive.

“Toilet?”

Kai jerked out of his thoughts. “Sorry?”

“Where’s the toilet?” Thump pointed at one of the goblin females trailing them. “Pinky looks like she needs it.”

Pinky was holding a beach ball belly with both hands and doing the universal peepee dance.

Kai grew anxious. “Oh. Actually…we haven’t gotten around to making any yet.”

Thump looked grossed out. “You don’t have toilets?” He looked around with his lips curled back like he was expecting to find piles of poo lying all over.

Kai hurriedly assured him, “We do! I mean, there’s the pit traps.”

“Ugh. You’re not serious.”

Kai awkwardly chuckled. “Ha. No. Of course not. Um, we’ve been going up into the forest. You know, just for now, until we can build some facilities.”

Thump school his face, or attempted to, but he wasn’t entirely fooling Kai. “Ok. That’s not very safe, is it? And it’s bound to attract things. Let people know the dungeon is here.”

Kai felt bad. “Yeah. I know.” He hung his head. Desperate to explain and get the man’s approval back, he rambled while gesturing with his hands, “It’s just, the dungeon is still low level, and it doesn’t come with any bathroom features or anything right now. I’m hoping that kind of thing becomes available soon; we just need to get more experience. Although, I haven’t entirely figured out how to do that yet. But, you know,” he tried to inject a positive tone, hopeful, “maybe if she goes upstairs with another person or two? To look out for each other while they’re outside? I’m sure they’ll be fine.”

Thump gave him a strange look. Then his eyes swept the room. He took a few steps, walking all the way to the arch that led to the next room. Then he spun, and his eyes pierced Kai’s. “Low level? Experience? Is this…a magical dungeon?”

Kai’s mouth opened, but he froze before speaking. Too late, he realized that maybe he should have kept that a secret from the people he’d only met minutes earlier. His brain fumbled far too long with trying to come up with a response.

A slow, very pleased smile crept over Thump’s lips. “It is! Excellent! Wonderful!” He let out a big belly full of laughter. Reaching out to the dungeon wall, he placed a thick hand on it. Nodding to himself, he looked around as if seeing everything in a new light. Then he turned, strode over to Kai, bent down, and took Kai’s shoulders in both hands. “This is very exciting news! Congratulations.”

Overwhelmed by the chief’s sudden and intense enthusiasm, Kai blurted out, “Thanks.” He experienced the oddest sensation, like he was suddenly basking in the approval of a teacher or father figure. He should be far too old for such things, yet here he was, feeling like a shy kid all of a sudden, and kind of pleased about the approval.

Thump straightened and clapped his hands once. “Very exciting. Very. This is tremendous. Kai, you’re my hero. Have you thought of the possibilities?”

Kai hesitated. “Kinda? I mean, it’s mostly been a struggle to survive so far.”

“Oh sure, sure. Of course. But you’ve already grown the dungeon somewhat? Or was it like this when you found it?”

Kai probably should have been a lot more cautious, but he found the man’s energy infectious. “No, I didn’t find it. I bought it, actually. It was just this little cube thing. I planted it in the ground and, you know, things happened. I gained some experience points and the dungeon started levelling.”

“What is it at now?”

“Five. So, five floors so far.”

“Good, Good!” Thump strode out of the room and down the hall to the other side of Floor 2, all smiles.

Seeing Pinky really dancing now, Kai zipped over to her side. “Sorry! Um, you really have to go, huh?”

She nodded with pained eyes.

“You’ll have to go upstairs again. Back outside. Maybe someone could go with you?” He looked around, realizing there were many more goblins than he’d realized. There were probably around fifteen, though only a handful were adults, and the rest were children. Frowning, he noticed that all the adults were women. The chief’s harem? And these were all his kids? So that’s what he meant by family looking for a home.

One of the women, or perhaps a child on the verge of adulthood, took Pinky’s arm. She looked despondent and angry at the same time. Her voice was sullen when she said, “I’ll take her.”

Kai wasn’t sure the girl was in the best headspace to be looking out for anyone else, but he wasn’t sure of how to say something like that without offending, and they were gone quickly. He smiled at the other goblins and told them to make themselves at home before jogging over to the other room to catch up with Thump.

Thump was already on his way out, still looking pleased. He pointed his thumb at the stairs down. “Shall we see the next floor?”

“Of course!” Kai led the way down the stone steps. He was halfway down before he remembered that the floor was empty but for a few torches. Again, the four rooms on this floor were laid in a row. None of the doorways in the dungeon had doors aside from the secret ones leading to the private areas, so you could see all the way down through the rooms.

Thump did so, looked around as if puzzled, then looked Kai in the eyes. “Rather bare, isn’t it?”

Kai once more felt embarrassed and not good enough. “Yeah.” Then an idea hit and he brightened. “Actually, it’s just that we’ve been growing so fast, we have more space than we know what to do with. But how would you guys like the fourth floor?”

Thump acted as if he hadn’t thought of that. “Oh! That would be…good. Yes, it’ll be a tight fit, and we’ll have to go up four floors every time we need to use the toilet…”

Kai mentally kicked himself. Why hadn’t he figured out the toilet thing yet? And why didn’t the dungeon already have stuff like that? Honesty! Who programmed in spiked pit traps and artificial lighting, but not a place to do your smelly business?

The other goblins, filing slowly in behind Kai and Thump, were whispering to each other, everyone busy studying their surroundings, nobody fully relaxed. Everyone kind of had that tense look you see on folks when they’re house shopping and walking around a home, looking at features, while the realtor is always — right there — and won’t piss off so you can talk amongst yourselves and say how you really feel about the place. Though they were glancing Kai’s way, none of the goblins but the very youngest were making eye contact with him, and none had dared speak so far. They were all very much followers and Thump the one to talk and decide things.

Thump wandered into the next room, found it was identical to the first, and returned. He flashed that winning smile. “This really is something, isn’t it? Just remarkable. I’ve heard of magical dungeons, but never been in one myself. You know, when we left the Great Warren, I wasn’t sure if we’d find something as nice as this to settle in quite so soon.”

Kai felt his interest quicken. “Great Warren?”

Thump nodded. “It’s the largest goblin community in the region.”

“Oh. Is it a big place?”

“Tens of thousands. Not as big as some.” He made a face and waved his hand. “Glad to be rid of the place.”

“Why’s that?”

Thump scoffed. “Too many small minds. They’ve completely taken over the place. Not a forward thinker in the bunch. They’re all so focused on the past, on doing things the same old way. They’re literally incapable of imagining anything better.”

“Wow. That sounds, uh, difficult?”

“You have no idea! You know, I was a very influential person back in Great Warren, very influential. I had the ear of the most powerful, most well-known, the richest goblins. They listened to me, they all listen to me, they all want to know what Thump has to say, you know why? Because I understand things. I see the future. I have big dreams, the biggest, the best. I want a world ten times — a hundred times! — Better than what we have. I tried to talk to them, tried to show them, but do they care? No. Can’t see anything. Small minds.”

“Like, how?”

“Like this thing with the elves. You seen this? The elves.”

“Uh, I’ve heard of them.”

“Right, so the elves. Used to be so big and powerful, right? Very stuck-up people, really think a lot of themselves. Look down on everybody, right? And then these humans come along. You ever seen a human?”

“A..few.”

“Right. So you know. You know humans. Big, scary, incredibly ugly, but they’re powerful. They’re warriors. You wouldn’t want to have sex with any of them, they are seriously hideous, but you gotta respect the power, am I right? So these humans show up, and the elves, again, small minds. Conservative. Stuck in the past. What happens? They disrespect the humans. Act all superior. Stupid, right? Utter morons!”

Kai didn’t know what to say, so he just nodded.

“So these elves try to get all high and mighty with the humans, but the humans aren’t havin’ it. They tell the elves what’s what. But do the elves clue in? Nah. Morons. Absolute idiots. They go to war with the humans. What happens? They get their damn heads chopped off!” Thump laughed, a touch cruelly. “And not just by the soldiers. Humans, they got these people they call adventurers. They send them into the forest after the elves to collect ears. I tell you, you gotta respect that. They show absolutely no mercy. You fuck with them, they will fuck you right back. And then they will take your ears, cut ‘em right off, make trophies out of them, so the next time you see them, the next time you get the dumb idea of pissin’ off a superior power, hey,” he mimicked holding up a necklace, “see these? Yeah, the ears of all your loved ones. Yeah? So maybe shut your hole.”

Kai felt uncertain. Was he supposed to be proud of being human or not in this situation? Or…now that he was no longer human, should he just laugh the way the goblin was? It was very confusing.

“Anyway, so like I was saying, the goblins in Great Warren, they’re kind of friendly with the elves. I mean, we trade, ok? Goblins are good at making stuff, great at it, but sometimes you want variety, you know, so we trade with the elves. So I says to the guys on the council, this is a great opportunity. The elves are in shambles. City burned to the ground. They’re desperate! We need to take advantage of that. I mean, these guys been rippin’ us off for centuries just because they can. But they don’t have an army anymore. All their precious toys and magic — poof. Gone. I say it’s time for goblins to stand up for ourselves, turn the sword around, do things on our terms for once. You know what they say? Those council guys?”

“…no?”

“No. Exactly. Still scared of the elves. I can’t believe it. Golden opportunity right there and they can’t find the cock and stones to go after it. Small minded. But you know what? Fine. That’s fine. There’s another opportunity on the table, an even bigger one. You know what that is?” Thump turned an expression of gleeful anticipation on Kai.

Kai swallowed and thought fast. “Trade with the humans?”

Thump slapped Kai on the back, nearly knocking him off his feet. “See! You get it!”

Kai flushed with pride as he steadied himself. He replied, eager to prove himself on the same page, “Actually, I just reached out to the humans in the nearest village. Started setting up a trade arrangement.”

Thump was astonished. “No.”

“Yeah.”

The big goblin laughed again. “Ha! Look at you! See, this is what I’m talkin’ about. You’re a forward thinker too! I love that about you!” Thump shook his head. “You’re nothing like those small minds back in Great Warren. Couldn’t take them anymore. I mean, you try to help people, but you can only do so much. If they refuse to even think about anything better…”

“So, that’s why you left?”

Thump became totally dismissive. “Yep. Had enough of that place. If you’re not growing, you’re dying. So I left. Only took my family, too, so I could start fresh. Didn’t want any of their old ways of thinking contaminating all my plans. Boy, are they gonna regret it after they see all the great things.” He flashed another smile, this time with lots of teeth. He put a hand around Kai’s shoulders. Then he waved at the dungeon before them. “Just look at it. It might be plain right now, just an empty dungeon, but just imagine all it could be. Together, you with your…you know, and me with my vision, my leadership, my brains, we’re gonna make this dungeon great. You hear me?”

“Yeah!”

“You said your name was Kai, right?”

“Right.”

“Kai, you and me, gremlins and kobolds and goblins: an alliance for the ages. This place. We’re gonna be a team those guys in Great Warren are totally jealous of. Us, the make a great dungeon alliance. Ha! That has a nice ring to it. Make a great dungeon alliance. MAGDA. I love it!”

Everyone is different. Kai was someone who was genuinely a decent person. As such, no matter how many times he’d been betrayed or hurt by others, he instinctively had faith in new people. He wanted to trust them. He wanted to have a good, productive relationship with them. It wasn’t in him to react with skepticism or caution; when someone was enthusiastic to get to know him, Kai naturally responded in kind.

So Kai found himself standing taller and brimming with excited energy. He could see it. The two of them together. It was such a relief that he’d have someone to help grow the dungeon now. He’d been so nervous about doing it himself and so worried about failing. And then the whole payment debacle had happened. But now with Chief Thump on board, he’d surely help them find a way to pay off the thousand gold and help Kai grow the dungeon even more. Kai wouldn’t have to be alone and constantly worried about screwing up now. He couldn’t believe his good luck!

Matching the goblin’s grin, Kai could hardly stand in place. “This is awesome. I’m so excited. If you’re sure you want to stay, then I’ll add you to the system.”

Thump only hesitated a second in thought. “Yeah!”

“Yeah?”

“Let’s do it!” Thump laughed. “Team MAGDA. I can’t wait!”