Chapter 34 - Acceptance and Forgiveness

As she awoke, Raeyn struggled with her aching head and body. The dream had been interrupted not once, but twice now in the span of a single night. She knew peace for the first time in moons. Exhaustion still weighed heavily on her, but something else weighed on her. She felt a heavy arm holding her close and looping under her chest. Violetta held her close, but as soon as she attempted to get up, the blanket shifted and she found herself rolling as the blanket was pulled out from underneath her, bound for the ground, but Violetta’s hand kept her from falling.

"Violetta." She said to wake her. "Violetta?"

Violetta stirred and sat up, taking her arm and the blanket around herself, "Raeyn? You are still here?"

"Yes, I am here." She said, wondering where or why she would leave at all.

As she slipped off the bed, the morning light passing through the cloth illuminated the small dug out earthen room. The upper layer of the ceiling had deep roots of the turf above cut down nearly a third of the height and the hard packed earth made up the rest of the wall. The open ceiling covered by a thin cloth did nothing to keep the natural warmth of the earth in, but the summer air was plenty warm. She stretched and placed her hands on her hips to twist and crack her back. Violetta watched her with an amused smile as she did this.

"What are you looking at?" She asked.

"It is like watching an old lady. Pops and creaks and all." Violetta stifled a giggle, "Also, you have absolutely no chest or butt to be stretching like that."

"What do you mean?" She scowled, "I am a gilt still. Only natural that it be that way."

Violetta threw off the covers and got out of the bed beside Raeyn, the woman was slender and thicker than she had realized. Arms and legs had muscles and a little fat, but nothing like those powerful toned legs, each one close to twice her own in thickness, and a stomach that had some little lines. Violetta stretched, raising up on the ball of her toes and arched her back before dipping down and touching her toes.

"No cracks or pops." Violetta said as she repeated this to the left and right sides of her body, and twisting to show her muscle definition off to her, "Any questions?"

"Why are you so… hairy? And smell so… bad." She said innocently enough, but it was not taken that way.

"Hairy!?" She covered herself, "I am a sellsword, not some pampered harlot. Every woman has hair all over their bodies! I meant questions about my scar, you brainless Gobbo."

"No! You are no harlot." She immediately made it awkward and struggled for an explanation, but it came out wrong, "Gobbo’s do not have hair, but Mahn do. Why?"

Violetta growled and shook her head, "We just do!"

"With your clothes doesn’t it become bad? It traps bad smells and dirt." She pressed, "You smell like ick and urine!"

"As long as we wash often, we don’t stink… as much, but what is with this question."

"I don’t think I should wear clothes." She explained.

"Oh no. No. No! That’s your angle? How long did it take you to come to that idea?" Violetta stood up and over her again, almost proud of her form now, "You stink and have less hair, but it is improper for anyone to run around naked. Nice try, but you are going to dress and behave in a manner appropriate to our society! I should have put you in bedsheet straightaway!"

She deliberately scowled at Violetta, "Your society is weird, and you all stink!"

Violetta cracked her knuckles overhead, "Let’s not talk about who smells like what and let’s take a bath."

"A bath!" She was excited and watched as Violetta pulled out two long towels from the side of the pallet and unfurled them over head, draping one around herself from shoulder to knee and tucked a corner under right left armpit, "What is this?"

"Your towel." Violetta handled the towel to her, "Wrap it around yourself like this and we can head to the baths by the shore. They use seawater for the first bath and then spring water for cleansing. Turn around quick so I can make sure you do not have any open wounds."

Violetta knelt down and looked her over carefully, it was awkward as she looked at her armpits and her chest for a usually long time before saying, "You erupted in blood right from here… but I see no wound."

Her finger pressed right over her heart, and she felt the blood drain from her face. Violetta’s eyes widened and she pulled her finger away quickly, "Sorry, did I make you uncomfortable?"

"That spot." She knew it was the same place in the dream where Maelyn was stabbed, but why would she know that exact point? And what did she mean by having ‘erupted’ in blood? "Why?"

"It was as if you were stabbed in the heart…" Violetta changed the subject and stood up, bothered as if she was wrestling with the question for a while, "If I might be so bold, do you have any interest in males of your kind? As mates, of course."

"No." She said, "I have not really thought about it. The Breeding Moon is the only time it would matter, but that is why us gilt shelter together and endure the pains together."

"Females?" Violetta asked.

"They are not mates. Why ask?" She was confused and stared ahead at the indentation in Violetta's belly. It looked like her birthing scar never healed.

"Do you not have those desires yet?" Violetta kept probing with more and more strange questions.

"Of course I have them, but why? Why ask? What if I asked you the same questions?" She fired back in frustration, still gazing at her navel.

"You have been staring inappropriately at me; my face is up here." Violetta had been staring down at her harshly which was reason enough to not look up, "Why do you not look me in the eye?"

"It is inappropriate to look anyone in the eye, especially a... a superior." She had to find the word.

"So, you stare at my chest and hips because it is at eye-level?" Violetta grumbled, "I feel your eyes you know, and it is making me upset. I am not a piece of meat."

"Feel my eyes?" She realized the expression for what it was, and she felt herself get embarrassed at the implications being placed on her, "I have no interest in you! Beast woman! To suggest such a thing is-"

"Ah, you blush olive and gold." Violetta snickered, and her expression became strange as the topic came up, "Now listen up! Don’t let your eyes linger in the baths. You told me enough of your ways before, but we don’t have just once a year to worry about such feelings. Staring and looking in the wrong place or for too long will irritate the others, and dare I say someone might act in anger or worse… take it as an invitation."

"It must be exhausting." She said hastily, "Sorry."

"You are right." Violetta laughed, "That is why soldiers like Marsol are so against having women here. This is not a military mission, and I am sure quite a few of the women are already with child. This is our first settlement after all. As for Marsol, he is one to talk."

She seemed intrigued for a fraction of a second until she understood, "Uranian… You mean…"

"Yes." Violetta giggled, "So you know such things now?"

"Violetta… Just why would you do that!?" She panted and threw the towel over herself and tucked it in. Tightly wound, it was three layers thick around her body, but she wanted it to be even thicker, "You creatures are unbelievable."

"Oh, Raeyn? You barely scratched the surface of that particular subject. Of the hundreds of gods throughout our lands, the ways of loving one another are just as varied as the flowers in the fields of Jyisa. I thought you were ‘mature’ and could handle it, but if you rather be ignorant and childish-"

"You have had enough fun at my expense." She continued her warning, "I will not help you with your Magnesia or anything else if you keep this up. If I am making you uncomfortable, or acting improperly in your culture, tell me. Do not force such knowledge on me."

Violetta’s eyes widened and she was defeated in an instant. What had been her idea of teasing suddenly turned to a pained expression and tears welled up in her eyes having realized that she had taken it too far. She dropped her head and whimpered, "Sorry, Raeyn."

"So… Violetta. Do you like females?" She asked after a moment, but Violetta turned away, "And… do you have such desires for a Gobbo."

"No. And no. I’m sorry, Raeyn." Violetta sat on the edge of the pallet and bowed her head, "Truth is… I am a woman who cannot help but have those thoughts. I am a sinner, and I am a horrible woman. I just… I just can’t help myself. I try… but I know what is right… but…"

"Enough." She approached Violetta and offered a hug with outstretched arms, "I am sorry."

Violetta pulled her into a hug, "I never seen anyone look at me like that before. Your eyes did not see only the scar. Did it?"

She had seen it, but she had never seen such a creature like Violetta before. Her body was powerful, graceful and beautiful in its own strange way, but it was nothing sexual. Like appreciating a beast for its form and beauty. A terrible thought given how Mahn impressed the same upon Gobbos, but Violetta was a strong and beautiful woman. As an enemy she was formidable, and those muscles were unlike anything she had ever seen in a Gobbo. Her inner flame must be akin to four furnaces, blazing with strength.

"I was mostly staring at the hole in your belly and wondering why it never filled back in. I have no interest in you as a lover. We are not even of the same kind. You know that insults Maelyn by even having these thoughts… but what brought this about? Tell me truthfully."

"I saw she wore brothel leather… and I cannot get it out of my head. What was that, Raeyn! Why would dream of the Goddess like that? All night, I dreamed of my Goddess in a sinful way." Violetta whimpered, "That giant harlot showed me enough of your dream, memory, whatever it was - to soil the Goddess with such trappings."

"You…" Raeyn realized it, "You saw my dream!? You stopped it? How?"

Violetta’s buried her face in her hands, "I am sorry."

"So that is why it stopped? How… I do not understand you. How could you invade my mind? With another? That is not something you should see."

"I was weak… I wanted to understand you. I accepted because I wanted to know if I could trust you."

"And what did you learn?" She did not know if it was anger, fear, betrayal or confusion that came through, but Violetta reacted with shame and pulled back to bury her head in her hands.

"I know you are cursed. I know you are reincarnated and are favored over me. I don’t understand how or why." Violetta whimpered and started to cry, "I want to help… I am sorry. Forgive me… please, Lady Raeyn."

"There is nothing to forgive. We both are snakes, as you said." She decided to give her one more hug, holding her tight just like back in that strange room filled with statues, "Two different priestesses of two different divine beings. Do what you must, and I will do as I must. Between that, you can have my trust. I am sure you will keep me safe. My friend, Violetta."

"You have a terrible understanding of friendship. Stupid gilt." Violetta hugged her back but kept crying what sounded like genuine tears from true shame over what she had done.

"Better than being a depraved lust-driven sellsword priestess soaked in her own sweat and urine." She teased back as she broke away.

"We should go to the baths." Violetta nodded, "Just give me a minute. I am not usually such a crybaby. I am starting to unravel."

"The last few days have been too much." She agreed, trying to push the thoughts from her mind, "Whenever you are ready."