Chapter Thirteen - Tubthumper

I woke up instantly, my cheek stinging. So quickly I was awake, I still saw Livia’s hand moving away from my face. “What?”

“You know how I hate it; how could you…” she broke out in tears. I tried to comfort her, but she turned and ran out, leaving me behind, puzzled.

Gamma stuck her head into the open door. “What’s wrong?” she asked, then sniffed the air. “What’s that stink?” Oops? Oops!

I jumped out of bed and ran after Livia. My ass went icy cold as its pissy wetness was exposed to the open air. I reached the bathroom in what felt like three steps, nearly running straight into a wall, not used to my new body’s speed. The sound of retching greeted me, Livia clinging to the toilet bowl. “I’m so sorry—” I started, but she waved me off.

I waited while she barfed up whatever bile she had left in her stomach. I kept my distance, not wanting to upset her any more.

“I know,” Livia started, then spat out. “I know you didn’t do it on purpose. I shouldn’t have hit you.”

“You can hit me all you want. Please, if it makes you feel better.” It would make me feel better.

She chuckled, and I saw her naked body glistening in the harsh bathroom light. We had been entwined, and not only had I peed onto her, but we both had been lying in the puddle for hours.

“I overreacted,” Livia said, her stomach seemingly calming down. “I had that recurring dream, and when I woke up to the wetness, I imagined it really happening.” Dream? Could it be?

“A dream where you stop me from getting out of bed, and…”

She looked at me with wide eyes. “…and I beg you to, to… into my…”

“Fucking AI! Gamma! Get your ass into here right now!” I shouted way louder than necessary.

She showed up in the doorway between the living room and kitchen before I had even finished. Of course, she had been listening in. How could she not? All the doors stood open, and the flat wasn’t a mansion. She would need to be deaf, not to.

“That messed up memory implant, the one you made to bridge the time when you had issues digitising me—Livia is dreaming it. Every bloody night. Fix it.”

“I can’t,” Gamma admitted sheepishly.

“That’s an implant?” Livia asked, standing behind me. The smell of her barfing wafted up to my nose, but I shut it out.

“Yes,” I said. “There was some delay when digitising me, and I guess they had an NPC stand in for a moment. No idea how they messed up that badly. They tried to put it into my head, but it didn’t stick. That’s when I saw through this charade.”

“I triple-checked it,” Gamma chimed in. “I re-ran the scenario with two fresh NPCs multiple times. That happened every single time, and it was prompted by Livia. You, Jane, rejected it when I used a current scan; only the preliminary one accepted it. So I have to reject the accusation of messing up.”

“She’s right,” Livia said in a low voice. “I had that dream before. Maybe the NPCs thought they were still dreaming and acted it out?”

“You dreamt what? That? How?” I half turned and pecked her lips.

“Ugh, I stink.” She tried to wave me off.

“As do I.”

“Other end. I’m not kissing you there, so it doesn’t count.”

“Then how are you dreaming about doing that?”

She looked at me for a moment as if she was trying to see if I would judge her. I kept my smile.

“My boss has been nagging me to add it to my set. I had planned to ask you to try it. It weirds me out, but people do all kinds of things they hate…”

“Bullshit.”

“Excuse me?”

“Bull. Shit. Try again. This time, without talking about yourself in the third person.”

That got her. Her eyes went wide, and her chin started to tremble. Had I gone too far? Me and my plans again. So much for keeping that quiet until she was ready. That called for plan B—a big, deep kiss to show her how much I loved her.

“Do you two know how disgusting barf-kissing is?” Gamma asked, then slammed the door. I didn’t care. I had the RDSF suppressed and didn’t taste a thing.

“You know?” Livia asked a couple of minutes later.

“Probably not even half of it, boss.”

“And you’re fine with it?”

“With what? With working for you? Sure. With you being way more loaded than me instead of just plenty more loaded? Whatever, same difference. With you thinking I wouldn’t be fine with anything you do? Not at all.”

She looked at me for a moment. “Shower first, toothbrush second, talk after.” Then she dragged me into the former.

🙚⚜🙘

Twenty minutes later, we sat in the kitchen, clean and no longer smelly. “There’s more,” Livia said carefully.

“That’s obvious.”

“My family’s been running security for everything related to prostitution in the city for decades. Not just the legal stuff. Illegal prostitution, protection rackets, human smuggling, gang wars, the full monty. Most of it got ‘sold off’ now, but some they left for me. However, they insisted on me experiencing what that work entailed for our enforcers.” She trailed off, but I had a pretty good picture of what that entailed.

“You have people like me running around beating people up for you. That’s what you want to say, isn’t it?”

She nodded. “Not just that. Running the company and our side businesses means I have to know what’s going on and how things are done. I’ve…” She took a deep breath. Then, her face slid into a professional mask. She reminded me of Chester when we were on a job. He had the same kind of business face. Cold and hard, devoid of emotion. “I’ve ordered people being beaten up pretty badly. Stood there beside them, smiling like a supervillain. Set my foot on a hand and slowly broke their fingers, feeling each bone breaking through the soles of my feet, one by one.”

I could see some emotion deep in her eyes, but I’m sure any stranger would have shivered in fear. But what I saw was fear, fear of rejection. So I had to gamble on how to react—did she need comforting or…

“It’s exhilarating, isn’t it?”

Relief flooded her face. Then, she smiled. “Addicting,” she said with a wink.

“Do I need to lock you up at night now?” I joked.

“Afraid to be left out?”

“Never. I trust you. With everything. Please trust me, too.”

“I will.”

“Good. Then, tell me how you handle your personal security. Where are your bodyguards?”

“The front ground floor flats. 01 is the CCTV control room, but it’s empty most of the time because the cameras are also hardwired into the company office. 02 has two guards at all times. We’re both trailed when we leave the house. I’ve got trackers on my phone, my handbags and most of my shoes. There’s one in your phone and laptops, both the old and new.”

I nodded. “Sounds sensible. But we’ll need to ditch them if we ever get to monster hunting.”

“Shit. I didn’t even think about that. Mom will be furious if they notice.”

“Your mom?”

“She was the operations manager, and Dad handled the business side. We now have hired execs for that, and I’m the probationary “big boss”, but I have to earn taking over the org. Blew it with the drugs.”

“Makes sense. They make you get your shit together and work for it. I would do the same. Dropping it all into your lap as a gift would be idiotic; you’d just blow it all.” That wasn’t an accusation; she had said the same thing last year in another context.

“Please keep me in check. I can’t do it alone.”

“You could, Livia. You’re stronger than you think.”

She shook her head. “You don’t know the real me. The one without you. Every day when I wake up, I think about you just to get the energy to open my eyes. When Dad told me about all that, I told him to give it to you, not me.”

“But you do have me. You can build on me. Even better, we can build our shared life together. And, when did you learn about what your parents’ company did on the side?”

“Last year.”

“You’re pulling my leg.”

“No. I was a naive idiot who noticed nothing. I’ve worked for my parents for five years.” She laughed.

Gamma knocked, then stuck her head in. “You good? I’m starving.”

“Yeah, we’re good. And I’m hungry, too.”

🙚⚜🙘

The gym equipment arrived an hour later. I wanted to oversee the installation, but Livia called one of her muscle boys to do that after I had pointed out where I wanted it installed. He certainly looked like he knew how to use it, so that was fine with me. I’d have to talk with Livia about inviting them into the gym, now that we had reactivated it. I guessed it had been for them originally before the room became a playroom for Livia.

The moment we closed the flat door behind us, a system message popped up in our views.

🖹

Gamification Phase 1 initiated. Monster spawning is now active. Due to low player count (4), spawn locations will be announced. This will cease once the player count has reached suitable levels for self-discovery.

“Four players? Us two and?” Livia asked. “Gamma?”

“Not me. I can support like an NPC, but I do not count as a player. Lessie also didn’t have a player flag when I last saw her, but I can check again later.”

“You’ve got a date?”

“Mmh. Lunch. She’s got the late shift tonight.”

“Lessie mostly does late shifts. Yesterday was an exception for Jane.”

“Speaking of me, when’s my next shift?”

“How should I know?”

“You’re my boss.”

“Fair enough. Gamma, would you be a dear and ask Lessie? She does the shift planning, and I don’t want to mess it up.”

“Sure thing.”

“But, to be honest, you could start at the agency. I mostly sent you to the apartment because I wasn’t sure you could pull through with it.”

“It’s fine. I do need the experience. And I’m not sure I have what it takes to be an escort anyway. You do more than pretend to be an onahole.”

“A what?”

“Do I know something you don’t?” I grinned at her. She responded by sticking out her tongue. “Japanese rubber pussy thingy.”

“Legal?”

“Um, yes.”

“Not interested. There’s no money in it.”

“Oh, my future wife, the ruthless crime boss. I like it.”

“You know it. And yes, escort work is different. You have to pretend to be someone’s date, girlfriend, lover, or something like that for hours. The sex at the end is the easy part, to be honest. But I have an idea.”

“What?”

“Double feature.” She grabbed her phone and started texting. “I asked Silvie to put something on my profile about being available with a friend. When someone books us together, you can simply follow my lead.”

“And we get to fuck the customer together? Kinky.”

“93% of the population would tend more towards ‘perverted’ instead of ‘kinky’,” Gamma added. “You two are so far from the human average, you wouldn’t believe it.”

Livia and I looked at each other, then snorted with laughter.

“What?” Gamma asked.

“Do you really think we’re that dense to not notice it ourselves?” I explained.

“Awareness or non-awareness of one’s own distance to human averages has nothing to do with mental capacity.”

“When’s your date?” Livia asked.

“Half an hour from now at that cafe near main. The one, and I quote, with the most adorable ducks on the curtains.”

“Then get ready already. That’s a ten-minute walk, you still need to shower, and on time is late.”

“Oh? Right.”

I gave Livia a thumbs up, where Gamma couldn’t see it.

“Low like that, it means ‘up your arse, darling,” she mock-whispered at me after Gamma had disappeared into the bathroom.

“I seem to remember you saying you liked that.”

“How about you keep it in your pants?”

“How about you finally tell me about your pissy dream? We got a bit distracted earlier.”

“Really? Now, who’s obsessed with that? Whatever, but one condition.”

“Anything.”

“Good. Change the bedding and wash everything that got wet. Then, scrub the mattress until it doesn’t smell anymore. Turn it over if needed.”

“Fair enough. Now speak. I’m begging you, the suspense is killing me.” I mimed falling over dead.

“What a tragedy. And it’s so simple, really. I felt bad about pushing my girls to do something I didn’t. I wanted to see if I could push myself into doing it. That’s all.”

“And the dream?”

“How should I know why I dream of you after I think of pee?”

I shrugged. “It’s your brain.”

“Not anymore. My brain’s gone.”

“Yeah, I saw it turn to mush.”

“Mush? Like yours when I undress?”

“More literally, but close.”

“Hold me, please.”

I rushed over and did that. “What’s wrong?”

Livia grabbed my arm with her hand and pressed. “It feels so real. I had suppressed that my actual body has been destroyed.”

“Yeah. That’s not something you’d expect to survive.”

“Not just that. I liked that body. It was mine for so long.”

“I know what you mean. At least we got an upgrade.”

“Most people didn’t.”

“Yet.”

“Do you really think gamification will be a real upgrade? Like our races? I don’t. It will be a boost needed to survive, that’s all.”

“I won’t argue that. You’re probably right.”

🖹

Monster location announcement. Goblins have taken camp near William Rathborne Memorial. Recommended group level: 5

🖹

Monster location announcement. Transporter Bridge has attracted a bridge troll. Recommended group level: 20

🖹

Monster location announcement: Imps have been spotted near Penny Lane. Recommended group level: 5

“Group level?” I asked.

“No idea.” I felt time stutter for a moment, then Livia continued. “No, we don’t have character levels or something like that yet.”

“Is there a way to form a group? Maybe it shows up then.”

“Why don’t you try yourself?”

“Because I’m a doofus. You’re better at this stuff, too.”

🖹

Player Livia Hameswood (criminal faction, monster faction) has asked you to join their group. Accept or deny?

I read the prompt aloud and then denied the invitation. “How did you do it?”

“Just intent. There’s nothing else to it.”

I tried it, and it really was easy.

“Same factions,” she said as she accepted it. I instantly felt where she was and that she was healthy.

“I don’t like it.”

“Neither do I. Criminal? Monster? Most people would react negatively.”

“My thoughts exactly. But I did not get any information on you when I invited you. That means—”

“We need to talk them to invite us,” Livia finished my thought.

“If they let us.”

“If not, they can go to hell. Do you see a group level?”

“I don’t see it, but I feel it. Group level is two.”

“So, no menu at all? Could the group feature be natural, or however it’s called? Something you don’t need menu access?”

“I guess so? Why?”

“Because that means we could invite Alessandra into the group.”

“Good point. We may need to; we’re underlevelled for any of those spawn points.”

“Not necessarily. I suspect we’re stronger than our base level with our races and skills.”

“Yeah, what’s with that?”

“I wish I hadn’t sent Gamma away. But I guess that’s a clash between gamification and the setting. We’re player level 1 for gamification and power level 5 and 9 for the setting.”

“Then, goblins or imps?”

“Goblins.”

“So sure? Why?”

“They are in the middle of a park. The imps are in the city. Where would you prefer to fight in the afternoon?”

“Gotcha. Let’s get ready and head out. It would suck to get there just as the others finished the goblins.”