Chapter Twenty-Four - We'll find a pond, we'll find a puddle

Back at the guild, we found Marco chatting with two more players, an unremarkable young man in a tee and jeans and a woman, also about our age, in a robe. Not a long dress, but an actual robe, black with red hemming and silver decorative stitching. She had raven-black hair, shaved up both sides of her head to leave only a 3-inch strip of somewhat longer hair in the middle that had been dyed bright red, which showcased her large, silver skull-shaped earring.

The name tag told me her name was Delphina Loveday Gray Fox, which had to be all first names, as none of the other name tags showed surnames; it was just “Marco” and “Paul”. All three already showed as members.

I walked ahead of the group to greet them as a guild mistress should. “Hi Marco, Paul, Delphina, I’m Jane. Welcome to my guild.” That wasn’t as well received as I had hoped. While Paul smiled and started to rise with his hand extending for a handshake, Delphina nearly exploded. She was up and pointing her finger, which also held a skull-shaped silver ring and had long pointy fingernails painted in pearl white, which contrasted nicely with her skin, at my face.

“You’ll take that back, or I’ll scratch out your eyes, white girl. Where did you learn that anyway.” I felt little specks of magic circling her finger and guessed that to be something like my blade control. So she meant it. My first instinct was to take a step back, but I suppressed that. She was level one and no match for me.

Instead I held her gaze, keeping my smile, and moved closer until I was nearly touching the sharp nail. Then I dropped my glamour and opened my lips for a full-teethed smile, putting my blade control skill to good use to make my teeth extra pointy. I’m the scary bitch here!

I let her take it in for a moment, then I said, trying to put as much honey into my voice as I could, “I’m sorry, Delphina Loveday Gray Fox, I don’t remember saying anything rude. Could you be a bit more specific, please?” Her hand was now visibly shaking, and I thought I smelled a faint whiff of urine in the air.

“Um, mistress,” Marco said in an uncertain tone, “you promised you won’t bite?”

Seeing how Delphina had eyes like a deer in headlights, I turned my head to look at him to give her a chance to recover. “You’re right, Marco. Thank you for reminding me.” I put up the glamour again and turned back to Delphina. “You were saying?”

She had dropped her hand and looked timid as a mouse, “Call me Rune, please?”

“Sure thing, Rune,” I said in a cheery tone and gave her a very light hug. “Guild rules prevent fighting on the premises; we couldn’t have been able to touch each other at all,” I whispered as my mouth was next to her head. That was a half-lie. I could have touched her had I thought about doing it to enforce the peace. I’m the guild mistress, after all. I make those rules and I get to enforce them as I see fit.

“Oh, I see. Sorry again,” her voice was still shaky, “I overreacted…”

“Don’t fret it. Just remember not to threaten to harm people for being friendly in the future, okay?”

“I’ll try. Um, is there a bathroom around here?”

“Of course. Done the corridor, second door on the right. It’s a bit basic, but it should be clean.”

“Thanks.” She gave me a small curtsy and went the way I had pointed her with tiny steps.

“Man, I’ve never seen a chick go nucular from being called by her name before. Or from ‘whatever, we’ll all die one day’ to ‘your eyes are mine’ in a second. She’s on her period or what?” Paul said, looking at Marco, who was visibly uneasy. Not getting any feedback, he turned to me, “But hey, you were really cool. I’d have sworn you’d bite her finger off when you transformed. Wicked horns, bee tee double-u, but those teeth gave little Paul the shock of his life, if you understand what I mean.”

Oh, my goodness. Another idiot with no filter! But two can play that game. “Poor little man. Here, let me make it up to him. I’ll give you ten percent off your first visit at my day job; how’s that?”

“Sure,” he didn’t really sound sure, “where are you working?”

I gave him the address and what apartment to ring at, then turned to the others just to indicate I was done with that topic. I kept an eye on him, and as I expected, he was puzzled. Marco, however, either had more brains or he knew the apartment, at least by reputation. “That’s a brothel, Paul,” he whispered. Paul’s mouth dropped open. As I said, two can play that game.

“You’re one feisty, bloody impressive demon lady, Jane,” Megan commented. The others had waited near the door, observing my interaction. “Made that goth bitch shit her pants good. I guess those are the airheaded greenhorns I need to work with?”

“I’m afraid so,” I said. “So far it looks like there are four new players each day, exactly one group’s worth. But I’m sure if you wait a couple of days—”

“Fuck it, no. I’ll whip those kids into shape if I need to, no problem,” she said and rolled up to their table. “Hey, sexies, seems our group’s complete now. I’m Megan, and I kick ass.”

“Let’s leave them to their stuff and go upstairs, ok?” I softly asked my group. While Marco was nice, and Rune may get there, Paul and Megan weren’t people I had any real desire to hang out with.

🙚⚜🙘

“So that quest was a bust,” Livia said. “We only assisted with the boss or mini-boss or whatever that was, but that wasn’t enough to get a kill credit. Megan got all those, but she didn’t have the quest.” She had taken the chair at my guild computer and had checked out the quest desk app. From what she had muttered under her breath while looking around in it, we could do everything Kinasteria could do from the reception desk up here, too. The difference was that Kinasteria knew what she was doing and we were stumbling around.

“So we’re tackling the imps after sunset?” Sam asked. “Or do you have other plans? Work, maybe?”

“Sunset’s when? Past eight or so?” I asked.

“8:44,” Livia replied. “Your computer comes with a nice calendar app. Moon cycles, star signs, planet alignments, bank holidays, school breaks, and more.”

“Our computer. If you ask me, we’re all guild leaders. I just got pointed out by Alpha to take the hat. No idea why.”

“Who’s Alpha?” Geri asked, and I froze. Shit. Now, what to tell her without outright lying?

“Alpha is how our notifications are signed every time there’s a hiccup with the system because it doesn’t work properly for natural magicals,” Livia explained.

“Alpha also left me a post-it on how to establish the guild. I had to plug the computer in because I’m missing the interface for it,” I added.

“So that’s why this one is plugged into the wall, and the one downstairs isn’t,” Samantha remarked. I hadn’t noticed that detail.

“How about we go to work and do the imps afterwards? That’s still after sunset,” Geri suggested.

“That was my thinking, too. Shift starts at six, although that may be flexible, seeing how we’re all sleeping with the boss,” I said.

“I told you, I know how to delegate. Let me call Lessie. She’s handling the apartment.”

She did that, and it turned out tonight’s shift wasn’t just one girl short, who had called in sick, but Alessandra was eager to swap with me, too. Something about having sore magical muscles. Although I suspected those muscles may be elsewhere, the way she had been going off with Gamma.

“That settles it then,” I announced. “We’ve got time to grab a bite to eat, but we need to hurry. Greg will drive us home to drop off Livia and Samantha while Geri and I grab some work clothes—“

“Nope,” Samantha said. “I will not stay at your home while you’re at work. I’ll join you, even if you don’t let me try out the job.”

“And I won’t stay alone at home either,” Livia added. “There’s enough space in the kitchen for me to hang around, too. I might even take a customer just to see how my new body’s performing.”

“Whatever,” I grumbled. “You’re all grown-ups if one can trust the rumours. I won’t stop you.”

“Great,” Geri cheered. “Maybe we get someone who’d shell out for a fivesome?”

🙚⚜🙘

When we got down the stairs, Paul stood in the doorway to the store area, his legs crossed in the universal “I need to be somewhere” pose. “Uhm, boss lady, Jane. You got a second ladies room in here? Rune’s still in there, and I’m kinda getting desperate.”

“There’s one upstairs, I can let you in, but—“

“We’ll talk to Rune,” Geri piped in. In a lower voice, she added, “Tell us if he’s packing socks or if that’s real.”

“Good. Follow me.” I led him up the stairs and into my room, then to my private bathroom. I had no desire to spy on him as Geri had suggested, but the wall was paper-thin wood and didn’t block sound, so I noticed him doing his business while standing. At least that inconsiderate oaf washed his hands.

“Nice setup,” he commented, nodding towards the computer when he got out of the bathroom, flicking water off his still-wet hands. I wasn’t sure if there was a towel in there, so I didn’t comment on this, even if I’d preferred it if he had done it in there.

“Looks more impressive than it is—it’s just a physical representation of the system interface, not a real thing,” I explained. “Doesn’t even run Doom.”

He laughed, getting the meme. Not that that would get me to invite him to any party soon.

“So, what else do you have stashed away here? The system wouldn’t let me set foot on those stairs earlier. Weird feeling when your body says ‘eff off’ with no reason,” he inquired.

“Huh? That’s how that works. I’ve been wondering. Honestly, there are only a couple of empty rooms right now. One of these,” I tapped a door we were walking by, “will probably become an alchemy lab for Kinasteria, and the bigger one off the stairs looks like it’s fated to be a training room.”

“You’re winging it, the same as us, aren’t you?” he remarked, not much of a questioning tone in his voice.

“We’ve got less than two days of a head start, so what did you expect?” I said sourly. “But…how are you taking this all? System nanites, all the world-shattering madness?”

He shrugged. “About as well as someone who’s been selected for not freaking out, I’d say. My nightmares are about what will happen when they run out of people like us. Could be a worldwide mass panic…”

“Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.” So that’s how the players perceived it? Could be a self-fulfilling prophecy—the not freaking out part, not the mass panic—or it could be real. Or maybe the initiation was a memory implant that gave them the memory of not freaking out? That’s what I would do—people mostly don’t second guess what they remember doing.

We got back down and found Rune standing surrounded by my girls, looking a little bit flushed and grasping a plastic bag. “We ready?” I asked.

“We are,” Sam replied, hooking my arm. “How about we grab a quick burger from across the street?”

🙚⚜🙘

When we sat down with our flame-grilled burgers, which Livia had insisted we order without onions, I asked them about what had been the issue with Delphina, or Rune, as she liked to be called.

“She soiled per panties and didn’t have the courage to go commando,” Geri explained.

“But she’s wearing a freaking robe, all the way down to the floor. It’s so long, we don’t need to sweep the place when she’s around.”

“That’s a transformation, like our blades,” Geri went on. “Her civilian clothes are a bit more revealing, she said.”

“But they still wouldn’t show her panties, would they?” Sam added. “I’d say she’s a bit too uptight for that, but maybe she dresses to social pressure, not to what she feels safe in?”

“Social pressure’s a bitch,” Geri said with her mouth full. I raised an eyebrow in instinct, then remembered she wasn’t as young as she acted. Did she have the acting skill? That would explain why I had the impression of dealing with a younger teen all the time.

“Geri, please remember to only pull that kid act on customers you’re sure like it,” I said instead. “Most adults don’t react well to, um, kiddy partners.” I lower my voice in the end, not wanting to announce those topics to the world. There were real kids in the burger joint.

“Anyway,” Sam recaptured the conversation. “We told her to simply stay in her battle clothes until she got home. She got no time limit on them, so there’s no need to change back.”

“Hurry up, or we’ll be late,” Livia said, her tray already empty.

“It’s still forty minutes?” Geri protested.

“To get home, take four showers, brush four sets of teeth, get four people dressed and then get to the apartment. We will be late.” Livia explained. Putting it that way, I had to agree with her judgment.

🙚⚜🙘

Of course, we were late, and not because we dawdled. In my opinion, we managed to be quite efficient, but queuing for the shower and sink made the time stack up. We made it to the apartment twenty minutes after six and found Charlie, Felicity and a woman I hadn’t met yet who introduced herself as Rebecca, working as Laurel.

That gave us four working girls with one backup (Livia) and one visitor for four bedrooms. That was plenty for a Wednesday evening, Charlie reassured me. That was right for the first two hours, where we had at most two rooms in use at the same time, and that was only for ten minutes.

I got one customer for a 30-minute quickie, where I held myself back. There was no need to go all out with acting and sexual domination to fuck his brains into next week. Charlie had one, a regular of hers. Most of her customers were at least semi-regular, something I didn’t understand at first, prompting her to explain that there wasn’t too much overlap between men who liked pussies and those who liked micro-penises. I hadn’t considered that before, so I had to trust her expertise.

The others got snatched up by Geri, who extruded sexiness that even made me react, and I had pretty good pheromone resistance. I felt bad about Felicity and Rebecca, so I promised them a share of everything my fam snatched up.

Then, around nine, things sped up. In short order, we had three rooms busy, Rebecca, Geri and Charlie each in one. This meant that I handled the front of the house. Livia could have done it, too, but she wasn’t really on the menu. It would lessen her work as an escort if people could get her for cheap elsewhere.

When the doorbell rang the next time, I opened the door with a professional smile. In front of it stood Paul and Marco. Oh, my. I hadn’t judged either to be the type to show up here, but I had offered the discount, so reneging now would be stupid.

“Oh, hi guys, come in, come in.” I beckoned them into the entrance room. It held a single couch for the customer to sit on while selecting a girl. “Have a seat. Can I offer you anything to drink?”

“I’m fine,” Marco said. He seemed nervous but collected. Paul, on the other hand, was shaking slightly, his macho pose wavering. Oh, was that a false façade? Or was he just not used to interacting with strong women? The way he talked, he had to shy those away, leaving him with the meek.

“Do you want to have fun together or individually? In the latter case, one will have to wait a bit, as we only have one room free right now,” I said, trying to present those sentences Alessandra had me memorise in a neutral and judgement-free way.

Paul’s smile was frozen on his face like the Joker’s, but Marco spoke up, “I’m fine with sharing a room if we don’t have to share a partner. Paul already said he wants you, so who else is available? Is Sam here, too?” Now Paul had a look of horror in his eyes, his hand grabbing the armrest of the couch in a death grip.

“Sam is here, but not on the menu, I’m sorry. Could I interest you in Livia instead? She also is free at the moment. For Geri or one of the others, you’d need to wait. Or, if you want, you could have fun with me one after the other?” I tried to put a look of “take this hint” onto the latter part.

“Good idea,” Marco said. “Please tell Sam, um, some kind of compliment about me wanting her? I have no idea how to say that without it coming out creepy, I’m afraid. Paul, do you want to go first?”

“Thanks, Marco,” Sam said, putting her head through the curtain that separated the kitchen from the entrance room. You could hear any word we spoke here very clearly, and that was on purpose. “That’s so sweet of you, but unless you’re packing something else than what it looks like, you’re out of luck with me.”

“Ah, I’m sorry. All the traditional equipment here.”

“Sam, can you keep Paul company while I’m having fun with Marco, please?” I asked as I offered Marco my hand.

I led him into the last remaining room and asked him for his wishes. He was pretty clueless, and considering he was a guild member, I gave him the special deal of summing it up as we had fun. That usually was a no-go, as trying to collect money from customers after the fact was futile.

Not that he racked up a big bill. We pretty much fucked as vanilla as it can get. The only kinky thing was that I didn’t bother with protection, not even billing him for it. I had perfect immunities, so why bother? With Marco, I didn’t have to keep appearances up, I just dropped the info as we got to it.

He certainly had been a virgin before, but he also was considerate to a level where I had to remind him this was all about him. That was what made me “forget” to charge him for the extra fun time from him coming too easily. Am I a bad businesswoman?

When we deserted the room, after he even helped me to change the bedsheets, the entrance room was empty. I checked the kitchen and found Livia, Charlie and Geri there, but no Paul. And no Sam? “Has Paul already left?” I asked, with Marco standing behind me, trying to hide that he was trying to catch a look behind the curtain.

“Room three,” Charlie answered automatically.

“With Reb…, um, Laurel?”

“Nope, she’s in the shower.”

“Guys,” I said in a drawn-out voice, looking at Livia and Geri. “Anything I need to know.” I could math well enough to know who had to be in there with him. Not that that needed any maths.

“He’ll find his way home alone,” Marco said behind me. “I’m off then. Thanks for the nice service, Jane.”

“Bye, Marco,” we chimed in unison.

After I had closed the front door behind him, Geri spoke up. “Unknot your panties, Jane. We wouldn’t have let Sam deal with a dick.”

It took me several seconds to parse the sentence. Paul certainly was a dick in my books, but that is not what Geri had meant. Which meant…oh. I deflated, my agitation gone in a moment.

I dropped down on an empty chair and put my face in my hand. “Are there any boringly normal people left in this world?” I rambled. “Please tell me Rune doesn’t have a dick!”

No reply also was a reply. Only in this case, it meant “we’re pulling your leg”.

🙚⚜🙘

Sam and I crossed paths an hour later in the bathroom. She to use the toilet, I to shower after a client. Seizing the opportunity, I asked her, “What’s the deal with Paul anyway? I’m no expert, but even I know that an Adam's apple isn’t something you get with hormone treatment. And he certainly had one, quite sizeable too.”

“I’m not sure if he wants this to become public…”

“Then we’ll keep it in the group. On my honour as your mistress prima.”

“Sure, boss lady,” Sam said with a grin. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of either. He’s got one of the XYZ gene disorders, was born with a wild mix or something. The doctors went in with the scalpel and, being the gods in white they see themselves, removed the ‘excess’ and returned a nice little baby Pauline. Who, at some point, expected a first period and got a beard instead. Quite a mess.”

“It took him that long to notice?”

“He said something about not fitting in well, but not realising what the issue was. He didn’t even know he had that operation as a newborn. According to him, he looked forward to his first period, hoping it would help him fit in. What a weirdo.”

I didn’t comment on that. As annoying as periods were, most of the girls in my class, at least most of those I talked with, had looked forward to it in one way or another. We all wanted to grow up at that age; the quicker, the better. The despair of realising you’d have to go through this once a month for the next decades only came later.

“So why didn’t he get gender corrective surgery? In his case, that should be trivial to get by the shrinks.”

“Red tape to the moon and back. He technically already had it, and nobody will sign off on a back and forth.”

“That’s stupid.”

“Red tape always is stupid, isn’t it?”

There still was something nagging me about his plumbing, but I couldn’t lay hands on it. Realising that plumbing wasn’t any of my concern, I shrugged it off.