Interlude Two

When I woke up at 5:03 again, I wasn’t surprised by that. But what surprised me was the realisation that I felt a clarity at those times I didn’t have during the day. It wasn’t that I felt mind-controlled or in a daze or something, just ... gullible?

That implicit acceptance of everything that happened, of it being as I was told without scrutinising it. Like when I had just accepted Alessandra being some kind of fertility priestess. Even accepting our home shard now ran a magic setting, the first person to show up at our flat, one Livia had known for years, being magical, too, was no coincidence. That was deliberate. Gamma opening the door at that moment was deliberate.

Just like it had been deliberate when Livia’s parents decided they wanted a new hamper to replace the wicker one I had stained by thoughtlessly putting down a used tampon. The new one still sat next to the toilet I was currently using as a thought stool in all of its non-porous surface glory. Nobody had stated it, but everyone knew it.

In the same vein, I had thought about joining Livia at her job last night, but I couldn’t get myself to decide to do it. Yet, when I woke up, the decision sat in my mind as final. More even. I was determined to go through with it. Where had that come from? Sitting here in the dark alone, half an hour before sunrise, I wasn’t so sure about it anymore.

I wasn’t the kinky one—unless you counted being turned on by Livia’s kinks. What had that thought to do with anything? Becoming a whore wasn’t about kink. Not for me, not for Livia. She had started it out of necessity, then kept with it for the good money. I had decided to do it because...well, I hadn’t.

Should I pull out? Go for a mind-numbing retail job? Or live on Livia’s money while I bolstered my education? I didn’t actually need to earn money to survive, which was what had me drop the education system like a hot potato the moment I could. I never hated it like other kids. I even enjoyed the structure of sitting there and listening to a teacher while nobody was allowed to distract me. My grades were as good as possible for a loner with no support at home who, at some point, spent her afternoons and evenings lifting weights and chucking beers.

The other question was if deciding to pull out would have any effect. Would I be set on that course steadfastly again in the morning? I thought back to how I felt during the day, and more weird things came to my notice. I had felt none of that ‘ickiness’ about doing it with a customer I felt now. Livia and Alessandra had acted way too happy with the job, not matching the “it’s mostly shit, but the money makes it worth it” attitude I remember from Livia.

So, there definitely was something going on that influenced our thinking. But maybe I could use that to my advantage? It had reacted to my 5:03-thoughts yesterday by putting me on that path. Could I come up with something else to steer today’s events?

I wanted some action. Slicing apart a monster with my claws, reliving that moment I enjoyed so much but without the guilt.

It was a long shot, but also plausible within the new reality, yet something I didn’t actually want. I had finished with that part of my life. Bygone chapter, closed and sealed.

I wiped and flushed, then went back to bed.

As I reached our bedroom, I remembered something. I went back to the living room and fished out the small paper envelope I had stashed between the couch cushions while undressing. I took out the ring and tossed the envelope, then gently slipped it onto Livia’s finger without waking her.

There. Done. That would be the end of this running gag.