She Looked Happy

Rain. Of course it had to rain. Why wouldn’t it?

And so, Llew laughed.

There was little she could do but allow her blood to keep flowing Karlani’s way. So she did. She sighed. She laughed under her breath.

Everyone else switched into action. Rowan led Edwyn and Ianto to the shed for some sort of cover. Jonas stepped beneath the Ajnai tree that offered Llew some shelter from the rain drops, but as they grew in frequency, more drops slid through the leaves, growing in size and hitting the ground or Llew with some force. Jonas’s shirt was already soaked through.

“You can’t afford to waste energy of being cold and wet,” she said. “You should get inside. Sleep in a proper bed.”

Jonas grimaced at the suggestion, but Llew was right and he had no come back. Llew scrambled up and puckered her lips for a chaste kiss.

“Alright.” Jonas met her kiss, patting her shoulder. “Goodnight. Get some sleep if you can.”

“Hmm.” That would depend how long it took to get Karlani up to strength. Llew was wary of thinking on it too closely. Even contemplating the cost of healing Karlani at the most shallow level of thought set her stomach clenching with anger. A stupid, stupid joke.

Jonas reluctantly headed indoors and Rowan returned with the two Turhmos soldiers – ex-soldiers, Llew supposed – carrying a tarpaulin and some poles, thin rope, and pegs like large, hooked nails. They set about hooking the tarpaulin over Llew. She had to sit again to get under its cover.

Karlani moved to sit beneath the cover as well. Practically, it was a sensible move, as Garnoc and Delwynn could just sit between Llew and Karlani, handing syringes between them. Didn’t mean Llew had to like the arrangement, and she let the Syakaran woman know with dark glares when she dared look her way at all.

By the time the tarpaulin was firmly tied to the tree’s trunk, the poles, and the ground, the rain had really set in, soaking everyone except Llew and Karlani, and drowning out any attempt at conversation. Rowan crouched by Llew in an effort to hear and be heard. They agreed it unlikely Turhmos soldiers would strike under these conditions, still they would keep two on watch. Alvaro agreed to be one, and Ianto also volunteered, as well as agreeing to swap out with Garnoc or Delwynn as needed, which allowed Rowan and Edwyn to head into the dry indoors. Llew insisted they keep one person awake at all times – allow Jonas to sleep, but monitor him.

With those arrangements in place, Llew’s world shrunk to the needle repeatedly breaking her skin and the tree continuously healing her. All else was the drumming rain and the trickle of converged drops pouring from the canopy. She tuned out from the people around her and turned her focus to the tree. What more could it convey regarding Braph’s intentions and progress? The initial shock of his already being in Taither had subsided, so she could now approach the situation with more sensible inquiry. Had he hurt the Taither Ajnai?

Through her palm pressed to the bark, she felt an intense ache, then she heard a baby’s cry, filled with anguish. And once more, Braph’s face floated before her. She snapped her hand from the tree, causing the needle in her other arm to twist and tear beneath her skin. Delwynn’s hand brushed her and he hissed at the burn. Llew covered her face with her hand and breathed, blocking out all else. Even if Braph wasn’t hurting her tree – her baby – their history left an indelible mark on her very being. Just seeing a vague image of him made her feel ill, angry, and tormented. But he was hurting her tree and, by extension, her baby’s soul. And he had her mother with him.

She looked happy.

Could she afford to appear otherwise? Was her mother even in control of her own feelings? With the power now afforded him by his own son’s blood, Braph could exert control over anyone. Surely, if her mother felt anything for the man, it was false. How could it be aught else?

So much for sensible. Braph rattled her. Just thinking of him made her skin crawl; every thought of him accompanied by memories of lying helplessly beneath him, of being strapped to his chair, of his machines crawling over her. Machines that could now fly.

Keeping her face covered, Llew breathed deep, purposeful breaths, well aware of Karlani’s and Delwynn’s attention. There was no sensible when it came to Braph. She couldn’t do it. That ache in her hand suggested he had done something to the tree. Made a hole? Did he think poking a finger into it would allow him to do what merely touching could not? Llew imagined the tree healing itself around his finger, rendering him stuck. The thought filled her with glee and she laughed into her hands. Could the tree do that? Could it heal itself the way they allowed Aenuks to?

She placed one hand to the bark behind her and waved Delwynn back for now. “Just a moment.” She focused on her tree in Taither, concentrating on blocking out everything around it. Just the tree. And a baby’s squeal. Not a frightened sound. Like a child’s delight as their mother bends over the walls of the cradle. Her heart filled with the love and ache she carried for that soul. And she realized she hadn’t named her child. Her children. She would. When she and Jonas returned to the tree, she would take with her names for each of them, even the one that lay silent. But, for now, she hushed the child’s spirit.

The trees didn’t usually heal themselves. They provided the power for Aenuks to heal. They lived, until they were felled by the Quavens. Llew didn’t know how trees were made, or how they might heal a hole, but not knowing the how hadn’t stopped her before. It seemed to be much more about gathering the available power and directing it with a will. She supposed that was what Br— No. Don’t think it. Stop. Breathe. Ajnai tree. A tree in contact with every other living thing on Phyos. Usually just a channel for power. Now Llew asked it to direct some of that power inward. Regrow what had been cut out from the inside out or the outside in. It didn’t matter. Just grow and heal. Be different. Defiant.

Llew sensed a resolve not her own flow through her from her contact with the tree. She had no sense of whether the tree could accelerate its healing. And it would remain a tree, fixed in location, unable to fight as a human, or any animal could, but it was part of a consciousness far greater than Llew could fathom. And that consciousness had a power all its own.

So, while she didn’t know exactly what the tree would do, Llew was satisfied that it had the tools to protect itself as best it could.

Then she formed an image of Jonas in her mind, wrapped it up in the concept of fatherhood – the best she could remember of her own father – and pushed it toward the baby’s soul. The tree, too, received the message, but it meant more to the child, so Llew directed it there. He is sick and needs your help. She recalled him, on the outskirts of Northhollow, too tired to stand. We’re coming. I hope you can help .

An image of Jonas as he had been at their children’s funeral and the tree’s planting came unbidden to her mind: whole, hale, and too heartbroken to speak. How their child’s soul knew him.

Yes. Llew took a moment to remember Jonas as he had been. Physically strong, and yet crushed at his inability to save those he loved. He was a man who loved deeply, and hurt just as deep. Llew had learned to keep her own heart well protected a long time ago. It wasn’t that she didn’t feel, just that she did so cautiously. Often it had left her feeling numb to the plights of her friends. Feeling all their losses fully would have crushed her years ago. She cherished her good fortune that had placed her within Jonas’s circle of love. From within its bounds of safety, she had been able to let herself feel love in return. And despite her immediate love for their children backfiring with total heartbreak, she had felt brave enough to still take the risk with Jonas, and her heart was full of him. The joy of that knowledge that came to her through her connection with her tree was a great comfort on this wet night, of being bled for the sake of a woman who had done nothing but cause her pain. No matter what happened, Llew had a deep connection with these Ajnai trees that led straight back to the one in Taither. She would never be Llew alone again. And with that backing, she could achieve anything.

Keeping her eyes closed, she unfolded her free arm, presenting her veins once more.

The rain still hammered down, surrounding them in white noise. Fortunately, the breeze remained mild, almost warm, so apart from the increasingly sodden ground and the frequent stabbing pain of the needle, she was almost comfortable enough to sleep. Almost. But, no, she could do nothing about that pain, so there would be no sleeping. Still, she let her head fall back against the tree and tried to let her brain rest amongst the thunderous cacophony.

Eventually, the rain eased, though it did nothing to stop the water soaking through the seat of Llew’s trousers, or the pain of the needle, it did allow her to hear Karlani release a satisfied sigh.

“I think that’s enough,” the Syakaran said.

Llew opened her eyes as Karlani stood, shaking out her limbs. She stepped from beneath the tarpaulin and took off at a run, soon returning, bouncing on her toes, energized.

“Yeah.” Karlani jogged on the spot, shaking the last of her stiffness from her hands. “That’ll do.” She crouched by Llew. “I don’t know if you have any idea how grateful I am that you chose to do this. I promise I’ll never do something so stupid again. And I am yours, so long as you need me.”

Llew didn’t know what to do with such a declaration, but Karlani’s restraint in taking any more blood went some way to cooling her anger at the Syakaran.

Karlani hovered at Llew’s shoulder as if she intended to grip it in camaraderie, but wisely thought better of it.

“I think sun-up’s not far off. You should rest. We’ll keep the place running today.”

Despite everything that had come before, Llew was inclined to believe Karlani. They would never be friends, but they could work together as need dictated. Another reason to fight for the return of Jonas’s powers: to get Karlani out of their lives forever.

Llew stood beneath the tarpaulin, brushed at the mud on the seat of her pants, leaving her hands wet and filthy. Yuck and annoying, but so be it. She dried them on the front of her trousers as best she could and thanked Delwynn and Ianto, who had swapped with Garnoc an hour or so earlier.

“Sorry about the—” Llew gestured at Delwynn’s hand, but he just waved her off and yawned.

Llew headed for the farmhouse, hoping the farm would escape the interest of any more Turhmos soldiers for today. It had been a late night for them all, and an all-nighter for most. If more soldiers showed up and their exhausted defense faltered, their failure would lie at the feet of Karlani. Yes. A cooled anger, perhaps, but it would simmer for some time yet.

Jonas slept soundly in the bed, bundled safely as he would if Llew lay beside him. She stripped off her wet clothing, slipped into one of Merrid’s chemises, and climbed into bed, pressing her cheek to Jonas’s blanket clad back. He breathed steadily and Llew closed her eyes, grateful for the cloudy skies diminishing the growing brightness of the day, and was asleep before the household stirred.

***

Braph stalked the circumference of the tree once more, peering at it, shifting his gaze up and down as he went; the truth of what stood before him butting up against his expectations. He’d spent the previous couple of days drilling holes, magically inducing each hole to release more sap, then moving on to drill another.

He’d slept. He had to. And they’d all had to eat.

Most of Quaver’s economy ran under the hands of the mundane, and with the garden lying so centrally within Taither, there were many restaurants and cafes to choose from. The proprietors and customers eyed Orinia’s pale complexion suspiciously, but Braph was clearly one of them, and Orin shared enough of Braph’s features to pass for Quaven. And Braph still had the knack for quelling questions with a glare. Unfortunately, it meant he couldn’t send Orinia and Orin off to fend for themselves entirely. A stroll down the road wrapped up against the spring chilled air was one thing. Walking into an establishment and demanding service was another. A nuisance, no question. With the crystals Orin had willingly stockpiled while being utterly spoiled with treats before they left home, Braph could keep himself healthy without eating for days. Weeks. Perhaps even months. If no one came to challenge what he was doing. And it was unlikely anyone would. The Quaven authorities were unaware of his presence and would be otherwise distracted. And Jonas … Well, Jonas was lucky to be alive … or not. Braph supposed he would keep fighting to live if he had become as ill as Jonas. So, Jonas was lucky to still have the opportunity to live, even if he wasn’t doing much of that now. The point was, he wouldn’t be bringing the fight to Braph any time soon.

Regardless, Braph wouldn’t waste Orin’s crystals entirely. It never paid to underestimate one’s enemies. Braph had been on the other side of that assumption plenty, rather enjoying the satisfaction that came with proving others wrong. It was never wise to be the one assuming, however. They usually fared poorly, or dead.

And so, he accompanied his lover and son for meals, and succumbed to sleep. The rest of the time he had spent drilling holes and collecting sap. For two days the Ajnai had become increasingly riddled with holes.

Now they were gone. All of them.

Braph circled the tree once more and the truth remained.

At first, he’d thought he should feel angry about it, but then it dawned on him that each hole had only been useful once and now he had a blank canvas from which to start over. Perfect.

Of course, he wondered why . Why had the tree tolerated the holes for two days only to heal itself now?

He could accept the premise that it took several days for the tree to heal the holes. But, then why had the holes drilled only hours earlier closed in the same night as his initial holes? No answers presented themselves immediately. So be it. He was contented to ponder, for now.

And while he pondered, he would drill.

He had his suspicions that injecting raw Ajnai sap into his veins would be even less agreeable than Aenuk blood, and the potential healing properties less accessible. So, he dedicated himself to collecting sufficient to at least sterilize, if not boil down to crystalline. At least a cup. Likely several. At between one and two tablespoons each day, it would take … some time.