Use It Wisely

“For what purpose, though?” Anya asked. “We know he’s smart, and evil, and willing to do whatever it takes to prove that. What’s left for him? You said he has no interest in fighting you now. He’s got all the magic he could ever want. He’s got a family. Is he not content?”

“Not all the magic he could ever want.” Llew had suspected Braph’s desires for a while now, but voicing it lent her guess a reality she didn’t want to believe. “The Ajnai tree we had planted over our babies …” Llew couldn’t help the wobble in her voice. Anya gave a moan and sat across from Llew, grabbing her hand, and Jonas reached an arm around her waist. Karlani shifted uncomfortably. “It glows in a way the others don’t. And I— I can sense my baby’s soul, or spirit, or something. In the tree.” Llew wasn’t surprised to see Karlani’s or Alvaro’s skepticism. Anya’s expression softened from pained to wonder, and Rowan and Elka simply listened. “Braph saw, and I can’t help but think that he wants it for himself. He has an Immortal son. But an Immortal soul entwined with an Ajnai … No one’s had that kind of power before.”

“But Aris took its power,” Karlani said.

Llew wished the Syakaran woman wasn’t there. She glanced at Jonas. “We need that tree. If there’s any chance to return Jonas to full power, I believe that tree can do it. He’s connected to it as much as I am.”

“What will Braph do to it? He wouldn’t damage it, would he?” Anya asked.

“I don’t think he’ll cut it down. I don’t know what he’ll do to try and access that power, and I’m not willing to put a limit on how far he might go to get it. He’s already used my ma, my pa, me, and now he’s using his own son. He might cut branches, or—”

“They drill trees for syrup in some places,” Rowan said. “Could he access its power that way?”

Llew shrugged. “I wouldn’t put it past him to try. But it’s all too new to know anything.”

“Drilling shouldn’t kill it, if that helps you feel any better.” Rowan’s lips pulled wry, like he expected his words to offer as much comfort as they did.

“In the meantime—” Llew flicked a finger indicating the metal pieces on the table. “—these can’t be good news for Quaver. And since we need to get to the Quaven Ajnai to fix Jonas … We can’t pretend like Braph isn’t holding the other end of our nooses. He always has, always will, until the day he dies …”

Rowan rotated the metal limb in his fingers so it flopped about the joint. “Such talent, and he uses it to hurt people,” he murmured. “All the people he could help …”

Llew stood. “And I need to help cows, then I’ll be back to do your blood,” she said to Jonas.

Elka joined Llew as she headed out the door, and went to retrieve the fragrant tree oil from the shed while Llew eased the cows’ discomfort and repaired any damage caused by their infection since the morning. After applying the oil, they leaned on the fence watching the cows return to a contented chewing. Llew savored the easy win the cows gave her.

“Tell me, Elka. What would your ma do if someone who had done her wrong came to her in grave need of her help?”

Elka thought before answering. “She took an oath.”

Llew held her gaze. “I didn’t.”

Elka pressed her lips together and Llew had to look away. Oath or no oath, Llew had the power of healing. Turning her back on someone felt like breaking an unspoken rule.

They returned to the homestead, collected the syringes, and everyone gathered beneath the Ajnais for Jonas’s blood transfer. This time, the mood was lighter, with Jonas capable of getting himself to the tree and direct the magic Llew’s blood provided right from the start. Rowan held a kerosene lantern for Elka to see by. Anya, Alvaro, and Karlani kept eyes and ears focused into the darkness. The road remained quiet.

Reluctantly, Llew offered a full syringe to Karlani.

Karlani looked at it, looked Llew up and down.

“I’m pretty sure, if you use this tonight, you won’t need any more than this.” Llew wagged the syringe.

“How do I know it’ll work?” Karlani took the syringe between her fingertips.

Llew shrugged. “You don’t. All I can tell you is to try to do what Braph does. He thinks about what he wants the magic to do, and it seems to work. Jonas does the same.”

Karlani thinned her lips, but rolled up her sleeve and held her arm out for Elka to administer the blood in the dull glow of the lantern. “Oh. You didn’t tell me about this.” She closed her eyes and a smile played at the corners of her lips. Then she moaned with satisfaction. “Mm. Oh. Oh, yes …”

“Stop it. That’s gross,” Llew stated plainly. “That’s all you get. Use it wisely.”

Karlani had Llew pressed against the tree, a hand round her throat, the syringe beside her head. “Who’s going to stop me taking as much as I want?” She laughed and shifted her grip on Llew as the faint buzz of ghi transfer hummed between them.

Anya hovered, but daren’t get involved. Jonas tried to rise, but with everyone occupied, he didn’t get far before accepting the futility. Alvaro looked over his shoulder from where he had been keeping watch, impassive.

Llew hadn’t had time to react, but long-ingrained muscle memory allowed her to slide a knife from Jonas’s vest, smooth and economical, and lower her hand. She raised her free hand to grip Karlani’s wrist, and pressed the knife tip into the other woman’s inner thigh. “I will.”

In all likelihood, Karlani could disarm Llew in an instant, but Llew was willing to bet not before one of them took an injury. And only one of them would have to carry it.

Karlani laughed, released Llew, and stepped back. “You’re hard boiled, you know that?”

Anya cleared her throat. “I suppose we should get some sleep. What do we want to do about watch?” She glanced at Karlani, who had stepped back from Llew and allowed Alvaro into her personal space, but kept a considering look fixed on Llew.

“I’m sure Karlani wouldn’t be stupid enough to hurt any of us.” Llew stared right back. I’m dangerous . “I can take a turn on watch, and Rowan, Alvaro, and Karlani.”

“How should we arrange the bedding? Alvaro and I have beds in the bunker already. You and Jonas should take the main bedroom.”

Karlani rolled her eyes, while Alvaro watched her with longing.

“There’s a bedroom upstairs.” Anya looked to Elka. She was asking without asking: could Elka handle the stairs?

“The bed’s good.” Llew placed a hand on Elka’s arm, as much in thanks for her help with the syringes and cows as to confirm her preference for Elka to have that bed.

“There are more beds in the bunker,” Alvaro said, his gaze quite steady on Karlani.

“But I think it would be prudent if Karlani slept upstairs,” Anaya said. “We don’t know when we’ll have to defend ourselves.”

“And me, I imagine,” Rowan offered. “I can sleep on the floor by Elka’s bed.”

“We might as well all sleep upstairs, then.” Alvaro’s tone had grown moody. “Just in the kitchen, or something.”

“Well, that’s not a bad idea,” Anya said. “There’s not much bedding, but we can bring some up.” With a determined set to her features, Anya nodded at Llew. “You’ve had a big day. Please, retire with Jonas. The rest of us will make arrangements for our beds.”

“ She’s had a big day …” Karlani protested.

“Look, Karlani,” Anya turned on the Syakaran. “I appreciate you’ve traveled from wherever , and that thing gave us all a scare, and it’s natural to be frightened of what might happen now.”

Karlani scoffed at the word ‘frightened’.

“But,” Anya continued, “there’s nothing more we can do about it tonight. And, if you want Llew or any of us to be able to help if things go wrong, you’re going to appreciate it if we’re well rested. So, yes, I think Llew needs to retire for the night while the rest of us sort our own sleeping arrangements. You can pester her tomorrow, but don’t think I won’t stand in your way should you be unreasonable.”

Suddenly, Karlani was standing barely an inch from Anya, looking down from her height advantage of about a head. “Am I being unreasonable?”

“No.” Anya didn’t flinch. Alvaro moved to stand beside Karlani again and Rowan placed himself beside Anya. “I think your reaction is sound under the circumstances, and as such I trust you to do your part in the functioning of this group because, Syakaran or not, I believe you understand how much more we can do together.”

Karlani flexed her jaw then stepped back with a smug smirk. “You lot are pretty ballsy, I’ll give you that.”

Llew didn’t know about that. Her body sang with the anxiety of not knowing how far Karlani might go. Thankfully Karlani settled into working with the rest to bring up bedding from the bunker.

Llew pressed a palm against Ajnai bark. She’d already healed when Karlani grabbed her throat. Satisfied she wouldn’t hurt him, she helped Jonas stand.

Despite the inadequacies of the heavy dividing curtain, as soon as the bedroom enveloped them, Llew puffed out a deep sigh, sloughing off the weight of the day’s worries. Jonas shuffled to the bed and sat facing her. Merrid and Ard were still gone and would forever be, and she still had to face keeping Jonas alive, but in that moment, at the end of a most atrocious day, Llew felt free. She was too tired to be anything but.

She unbuttoned her shirt and kicked off her shoes. A smile lifted Jonas’s lips and Llew beamed her own grin at him. There he was, holding himself up, happy. Just that morning, she’d feared she might lose him. There was a chance – more than a chance – she would wake to him weakened again, but his strength was another thing she would hold in this moment.

Naked, she moved to stand between his thighs and began working on his shirt buttons. He could undress himself, but there was some luxury in her being able to help him by choice, not by urgent need. As she slipped the shirt from his shoulders, his nose and mouth pressed into her belly. He breathed her in and kissed her lightly. It tickled, and Llew had to resist her compulsion to draw away. She managed to keep her laughter to a mere curling of her lips. They could hear every move their companions made on the other side of the curtain and she had no doubt any noises she and Jonas made would also travel, only dulled while the others bustled.

Jonas kissed her belly lightly and Llew closed her eyes, tamping down her ticklish flinch and savoring the intent in the touch. Jonas turned his head, pressed his ear to her and brought his arms up around her waist, his hold firm and comforting. And hard won.

She ran her fingers through his hair, down the back of his neck and over his shoulders. Muscles she’d come to know so well lacked the almost constant buzz they had generated when Jonas had possessed his full Syakaran power, but they still radiated a heat and illusion of strength she would gladly lose herself in.

She bent, bringing her lips alongside his ear.

“Tomorrow, I think, we should bring out Merrid and Ard’s bath,” she whispered and swallowed down the lump that formed at the thought of the farmers. Now wasn’t the time.

Jonas shook once with a single laugh juddering through his body before he pulled back to look at her, their noses side by side, their lips almost touching.

“I don’t mind if you don’t.”

Llew didn’t mind.

“Tomorrow, then,” she said.

“Tomorrow,” Jonas repeated and lay back, drawing Llew onto her knees over him.

***

Braph spent much of that night controlling his temper as each hole dried up within minutes, releasing, perhaps, a teaspoon of sweet, watery liquid. He drilled again, the hole quickly framed by beads of viscous sap. He would fit his tap to direct the flow into his pot, wait, watch, hope, despair and start again. Orin and Orinia both slept. Braph did not. And by the time the first glow of morning brightened the sky, he had collected a couple of tablespoons. He had touched the liquid to his lips earlier in the night, savored the bittersweet blend on the tip of his tongue, but such a tiny amount did nothing as far as delivering power. He was uncertain if ingesting it would achieve anything at all. Aenuk blood only worked when injected; he suspected the same might be true of the sap. Still, he would drink some that day to be sure.

He drilled another hole, pushed in the spile, lined up his pot, and pressed his hand to the tree, attempting to push magic into it and extrude the sap faster. It flowed slightly faster than its steady drip for several seconds, slowed … ceased.

Braph gritted his teeth and kept his outburst to a sigh.

***

Llew clenched her fist against the burn of the Syakaran knife wound in the pad of her thumb and whisked her other hand from Jonas’s shoulder. No. Her father’s. She’d made that mistake once before. On the run with her pa. Him Aenuk, and yet her Syaenuk draw would drain him dry if she let it. Mustn’t touch. Must wake ready to run in the morning, ready to escape Braph. But that wasn’t quite right, because she hadn’t met Merrid and Ard yet, and Merrid and Ard were dead. Oh, why were they dead? It wasn’t fair! Her heart hurt. Yes. Her heart. Not her hand. Her hand was whole. Her heart was broken.

Her pa also lay dead and forgotten. Part of Llew’s trail of destruction.

And this time she was with Jonas, and she could kill him. Or he would simply fade and die in the night if she didn’t check on him. She had to wake. Wake up. The body beside her felt cold. Don’t touch. Wake up!

Her wrists were bound to a chair, a hand forced to touch, to drain the life of a fellow street urchin. No, this time it was Jonas. Braph laughed. He’d won. He was finally superior to Jonas in every way because he lived, and Jonas was dying. And Llew the conduit, channeling his life into Braph’s crystals. Draining him. Wake—

Llew’s eyes flew open. She took a moment to gain her bearings. Cocooned in a blanket in Merrid and Ard’s bed. Jonas lay beside her, wrapped in a separate blanket so they wouldn’t accidentally touch in their sleep. Good. That part of her dream couldn’t be true, at least. His back to her, she could neither hear him breathing nor sense his chest moving.

She sat and reached over him to hold a finger beneath his nostrils. His breath blew warm over her skin in slow, rhythmic waves and she relaxed a little. She pressed her hand to his back to confirm. The blankets also rose and fell in a steady rhythm, no faltering. No signs of weakness there. She lay back. The night was still deep in darkness. Llew tried to force herself to relax over the background anxiety that refused to leave despite her proof that Jonas was alright. What if he deteriorated before she woke again? Could she afford to sleep? Her sleep versus his life. It was hardly a competition.

Karlani’s chuckle floated through the thick curtain followed by Alvaro’s offended “What?”

“Nothing. Keep going,” Karlani murmured.

Llew wished she could’ve slept just a little longer as the quiet sounds of their coupling filled her ears no matter how much she tried to shut it out. Then again, it was better than being trapped in her dreams. At least Karlani and Alvaro were trying to keep quiet. Llew wondered if it was out of courtesy to the others or if Karlani hoped to reserve the right to deny it. It should bring an end to Alvaro’s interest in Llew, at least. She wished them well and silently apologized for her intrusion on their intimacy. But she wouldn’t return to sleep. She thought of Cassidy and her heart ached again that his life had been the price of her lesson. Although, what had she learned? She couldn’t remain awake forever. She sighed too loudly and Karlani shushed Alvaro’s moans of pleasure, her laughter lending a staccato to the admonishment and not diminishing Alvaro’s progress at all.

Llew rolled over, pressed one ear against Jonas’s back and tried to trap her own blanket between her other ear and shoulder. Let them have their fun. She and Jonas just needed to survive.

She woke with a start sometime later still snuggled against Jonas with layers of blanket separating them. She smiled at their closeness, then remembered she wasn’t supposed to have slept. Rowan should’ve woken her for her turn on watch, at least. She cursed and pushed up on her elbow. Leaning over, she caught the glint of Jonas’s eye and the hint of a smile.

“Mornin’.”

“How do you feel?”

“Normal.” The smile and glint vanished and instead of glancing up at her, his gaze became flat.

Yes. Llew wished he still had Syakaran strength and speed, too, but he lived, and that really was enough for her. So long as he lived, there was hope.

“Good.” She kissed him on the cheek and gave him a cuddle, pressing her cheek to his, and trying to encircle him in her arms despite being thwarted by the mattress beneath him. “Mm. Snuggly.”

Jonas grunted, and there was humor in it, then he rocked his shoulder, and she sat back as he rolled to his back. He spread his arms and pulled her into a proper cuddle, her ear on his chest, she was deeply satisfied to hear the strong heart. If they failed at everything else, this would be enough. Llew had learned to be alone, to trust only herself, but she would fight to keep this.

The rest of their group began to rouse. Anya took control, directing bedding tidied away and requesting more eggs. Breakfast would be a repeat of the previous night’s dinner, as would every other meal, until they could dedicate time to the garden.

“Do you or Elka know bread?” Anya must’ve been addressing Rowan. “I’ve never learned bread. I think there’s a sourdough in the jar in the corner, but I have no idea what to do with it now.”

“Sure, we’ve made a bread or two over the years.” There was a smile in his voice. “Who’s up for a morning coffee?” He raised his voice for all to hear as he clunked a heavy kettle on the stove.

Reluctantly, Llew extracted herself from Jonas’s arms. “You’re a good lieutenant.”

“Aris would disagree.”

“Aris isn’t here. His opinion counts for nothing.” She clambered from the bed and held out her hands to aid Jonas to its edge. “How does this thing work?” She picked up the prosthetic as Jonas’s toes eased to the floor.

Jonas took it and lined the cuff up with the rounded end of his thigh, then buckled its straps. “The trousers are still tricky.” Llew slid the right leg of his trousers over the false foot and lower leg, then Jonas took over, slid his left foot in, pulled them up to his thighs. Llew helped him balance as he pulled them up to his waist and buttoned them. Llew helped him with his right boot, too, since the lack of ankle flex made it tricky for Jonas. Again, she left him to do the left. Llew helped him stand until he was balanced with a crutch. Then he hopped forward on this left leg and swung his right leg through, each step taking concentration.

Llew slipped Jonas’s knife vest on, touching each of the knife handles, ready to face whatever.

They joined the others at the kitchen table.

“I’m feeling fine. Thanks for asking.” Karlani glared at Llew.

“Good,” was all Llew could be bothered saying, and she filled her mouth with egg. While she appreciated she had food to eat, she hoped they could find some new options soon. She liked eggs well enough, but would gladly eat no more for some time. After swallowing that first needed mouthful, Llew met Karlani’s eye again. I am dangerous. “I’d ask you to report if you feel weak or sluggish, but I’ve given you all the blood I plan to give you. If it wasn’t enough …” She shrugged.

“We need her,” Alvaro said.

“And I’ve done all I can for her.”

***

Braph had been right. Damned it all. Ingesting the syrup from the tree did nothing but leave his tongue and back of his mouth feeling numb. A night’s work, two tablespoons, nothing.

Well, research wasn’t linear, and he did, after all, have all day. Especially as the Quaven streets grew quiet so Orinia could venture out safely with Orin, ending any complaints about the growing number of holes in the tree, and leaving Braph in blessed peace.

***

Elka followed Llew out to the cows, leaving the table in a tense silence.

Jonas picked at his breakfast, still not wholly pleased at his reduced nutritional needs. He missed his hearty appetite and easy power – a loss even harder to accept with Karlani sat across the table. Karlani, who had played up her victimhood for Llew, now flirted freely with Alvaro. Anya gave the pair frequent side-eyes and moodily shoveled the last of her breakfast into her mouth, then gathered her dishes and Llew’s, placed them on the bench, and headed out to the well carrying the ewer.

Rowan seemed oblivious to the moods of the others, simply finishing his meal and coffee. As he gathered both his own and Jonas’s dishes, he suggested Jonas bring Hisham’s now cleaned knife vest outside, and helped buckle it while Jonas steadied himself with his crutch out on the porch. The morning sun rose over distant ranges.

“Ma always reminds her patients of the importance of the mental game when it comes to recovery, or learning how to live with a new disability.” Rowan threaded the final buckle, patted Jonas on the shoulder. “That’s how you’re used to looking, eh? And it’s a connection to your friend. You can do it for him, if the motivation to do it for yourself wanes.”

Anya arrived back at the house at the same time Karlani and Alvaro headed out.

“We’ll go play lookout,” Karlani said as she passed.

“It ain’t a game,” Jonas said.

“Sure, moody.” She saluted and carried on her way, Alvaro in tow.

Jonas watched Llew making her way back from the cows and signaled to meet her by a tree. She acknowledged and, along with Elka, adjusted her trajectory.

“She looks tough.” Rowan offered support for Jonas to step off the porch, which remained a tricky move. He had been right, though. Something about wearing the knife vest helped Jonas find his center and his balance.

“She is tough.”

Rowan grabbed the syringes and caught up to Jonas as he reached Llew.

“You’re fast on those crutches.” Llew greeted him with a kiss on the cheek and a hug.

“Get’n the hang of ’em.”

“Someone’s coming,” Alvaro called from the farm gate.

Llew drew back from Jonas. “Already? We’re not ready,” she said. “We’re not ready. What do we do?”

“Whatever happens, you live, Llew. Promise me.” If Turhmos had arrived, Jonas was a dead man. “I’m no good without you.”

Llew gaped at Jonas, but she had no argument against that simple edict.