Death by Truck-Kun and Sarcasm
Jayden Sakuragi was dying.
Not metaphorically.
Not the existential kind either.
He was literally flying through the air, cat cradled in his hoodie, wind whistling past his ears as a bright red delivery truck screeched below him.
“Seriously?” he shouted at the universe. “This is how I go out?! By that motherfucking Truck-kun…?”
The cat meowed in agreement—or judgment, he wasn’t sure.
“SON OF B—!”
A moment later, gravity reasserted itself. He landed with the elegance of a dropped grocery bag and just enough crunch to let him know: bones were not supposed to bend that way.
[You have died]
No white light. No tunnel. No long-lost relatives beckoning him forward. Just darkness, and—
>> Initializing system…
>> Welcome, User: Jayden Sakuragi
>> New Identity Assigned: Prince Caelus Solari
>> Age: 16 (chronological) / 19 (mental)
>> Loading body… ERROR: BODY STATUS - TRASH
>> You are currently under attack. Good luck! :)
Jayden blinked.
And then… pain.
A solid whack landed across his back. Someone was hitting him. A lot. With something wooden. And heavy.
“Get up, you useless brat!” a voice snarled. “How dare you sleep through the morning inspection!”
He opened his eyes to a blur of color and light—and a servant, possibly 40s, balding, holding what looked like a broom handle with malicious intent.
“Okay, no,” Jayden wheezed, instinctively rolling away from the next swing. “What the hell—did I reincarnate into a shounen prison arc?!”
[New Passive Unlocked: Back Pain Lv.1]
“Still mouthing off?!” the servant raised the stick again.
Jayden… no, Caelus narrowed his eyes.
The martial artist in him twitched. His limbs felt like soggy noodles, but the broomstick was coming down in a predictable arc. He waited... waited... NOW.
With a grunt, he caught the stick.
His arms trembled. His spine protested. But the servant froze.
“You… you dare—!”
Caelus squinted. “Hey, quick question—is this abuse standard imperial hospitality, or do I get a mint on my pillow later?”
[New Title Unlocked: Trash Prince]
> Effect: -10% public opinion, +10% EXP gain from humiliation
“Perfect,” he muttered. “I’m the kingdom’s official punching bag and a walking joke.”
He shoved the stick aside—not gracefully, but enough to knock the man off balance. Caelus stumbled to his feet and immediately regretted it. His legs felt like they’d been stuffed with damp paper towels. His vision swam.
Still, he stood. Barely.
“Go tell your supervisor,” he rasped, “that the 9th Prince of the Holy Solarian Empire is awake... and deeply offended by the lack of room service.”
The servant’s eyes bulged. “Y-you’ll regret this!”
Then he scurried off like a rat with unpaid taxes.
Caelus slumped back onto the cold marble floor, panting. Sweat clung to his skin. His body ached in places he didn’t know existed. His hands were trembling.
>> Body Status: Malnourished | Weak Constitution | Anemia | Mild Internal Bleeding
>> STR: 2 / AGI: 3 / INT: 7 / CON: 1 / WIS: 6 / CHAR: 4 / LUCK: 1
>> Skill Slots: [Locked]
>> Current Title: Trash Prince
>> Quests: [None Active]
“Wooooow,” he croaked. “I really am trash.”
[Correction: You are currently sub-trash. Local chickens could defeat you in single combat.]
Caelus frowned. “You’re the system, right? Aren’t you supposed to, I dunno… help me?”
[I am helping. You’re alive, aren’t you? Barely.]
[Now get up, Trash Prince. You’ve got a full schedule of suffering ahead.]
“Great. I reincarnated into a fantasy RPG and my system is a passive-aggressive life coach.”
Caelus dragged himself across the cold floor to a cracked mirror propped up in the corner. What stared back was... tragic.
Pale, nearly translucent skin. Big, dull blue eyes with half-moons under them. Golden blond hair sticking to his sweaty forehead like ramen noodles. And the body of a 16-year-old noodle boy who’d never seen a push-up.
“Prince Caelus Solari,” he whispered.
Apparently, the ninth and least important son of the Emperor. Born from a concubine who died before she could give him any status. Weak, frail, and forgotten. Basically imperial wallpaper. The perfect background character.
But now? That body had him in it.
Jayden.
And that Jayden didn’t do background characters.
“Okay,” he muttered, forcing himself upright again. “Step one: survive. Step two: train until I don’t look like I’ll die from a strong breeze. Step three: punch everyone who laughed at me.”
[Step Four: Profit.]
[Step Five: Optional Romance DLC (Requires CHARM ≥ 10)]
“System, if you were a person, I’d kick you in the shin.”
[If I had shins, I’d deserve it… but I don’t so it sucks on you…!]
“Tsk.”
He glanced around the room. Calling it a "room" was generous. Peeling walls. A bamboo mat on the floor. A rickety screen separating a bucket from the rest of the space—fancy. And one (1) broken window through which a rooster was already judging him.
Caelus exhaled.
“Alright, Jayden... Caelus. You’re stuck in this empire, in a trash body, with a snarky AI and more internal bleeding than friends.”
A pause.
Then he grinned.
“Let’s level up.”
[Quest Created: [Get Out of Bed Without Dying]]
> Reward: +1 EXP, Slightly Less Shame