John Stax (Fobywoby)
AuthorJoined January 27, 2025
John Stax is an author, a master of words, and a notorious avoider of writing bios for his books. He has also discovered that writing third-person bios about himself gives him godlike power, which he will absolutely use irresponsibly.
Raised by feral books and caffeine, he spends his time crafting worlds, wrangling sentences, and wondering why spellcheck hates him.
When not writing, he enjoys pretending he knows what he’s doing and giving dramatic, knowing nods at inanimate objects.
Battle Barista
Now serving: hot drinks and cold revenge.
Jerry had once been told by a fortune cookie that his life would take a “bold new direction.” At the time, he had scoffed, because he was working a dead-end job at Perky Beans Café, living in a studio apartment that smelled faintly of wet socks, and the boldest decision he had made that week was whether to buy name-brand peanut butter or stick with the generic stuff.
It turned out, the cookie had been right.
It just failed to mention that his bold new direction would involve intergalactic smuggling, highly combustible espresso, and what was—technically speaking—an act of war against an advanced alien civilization that took its beverages very seriously.
Now, armed with an ever-growing skill tree of questionable utility, Jerry has to grind his way up the galactic leaderboard before he’s permanently roasted.
The customer is always right… except when they’re trying to kill you.