First Duel Challenge (Subtitle: “Honor is a Luxury. I Fight Like a Goblin.”)

The sun shone brightly on the palace dueling grounds.

Birds chirped.

Court nobles gathered with parasols and pastries.

And Caelus was trying to keep his breakfast down.

“I’m sorry, what do you mean ‘duel’?” he asked the royal announcer, who looked far too enthusiastic.

“Your Highness,” the announcer beamed, “you’ve been formally challenged by Lord Vincent—Knight of House Berrick, Swordmaster's apprentice, undefeated in four duels, and the 7th Prince’s personal bootlicker.”

Caelus blinked. “I’d like to counter with… no thank you?”

The crowd booed. A noblewoman threw a macaron at his head.

Damn it!

Lord Vincent strutted onto the arena like a peacock on steroids.

Golden armor, polished sword, flowing blond hair that screamed… main character from someone else’s story.

Caelus wore... a wrinkled training tunic, one boot slightly untied, and fear like an invisible cape.

“Prepare to meet the dirt, Trash Prince,” Vincent sneered.

Caelus raised an eyebrow. “I live in the dirt, Sir. You’re just visiting.”

DING!

[Quest Activated: “Win One Duel Without Dying”]

> Current Odds: 400:1

> Betting Pool Status: The royal butler just wagered his left shoe against you.

> REWARD: +3 STR, +2 AGI, Partial Dignity Recovery

Jayden’s brain scrambled for a plan.

Caelus’s body staggered.

Fight honorably?

→ Ha. Dead in five seconds.

Run away?

→ Faster death. Possibly by public stoning.

Fight dirty?

→ Ah yes, the goblin route.

Perfect.

The duel began.

Vincent lunged forward, sword gleaming.

Caelus ducked. Screamed. Rolled. Grabbed a handful of sand and flung it into Vincent’s eyes.

“ARGH—YOU LITTLE—”

WHAM!

Caelus kicked him in the shin.

WHACK!

Then smashed his training stick into Vincent’s knee.

WHUMP!

Then “accidentally” tripped, fell into him, and bit his ear.

DING!

>> New Skill Acquired: Improvisational Combat Lv. 2

>> “You fight like a gremlin on caffeine. But hey—it’s working.”

>> +1 INT (???)

Vincent staggered back, flailing.

Caelus grabbed the ribbon off his own hair and used it to lasso Vincent’s legs together.

The noble collapsed with a high-pitched wheeze. Caelus sat on his chest.

“I yield,” Vincent gasped.

Caelus panted. “I accept your defeat, kind sir. May your future concussions be mild.”

DING!

>> Victory Achieved!

> [+3 STR]

> [+2 AGI]

> [+Public Respect: +15 (Morbid Curiosity Edition)]

> Title Updated: Trash Prince → Trash Prince (Unhinged Edition)

>“You’ve won your first duel! Was it graceful? No. Legal? Barely. But effective? Surprisingly.”

> New Nickname Unlocked: “The Rabid Raccoon of the Arena”

As the crowd roared in shocked amusement, Caelus limped off the stage.

He grinned at the stunned royal onlookers. “You wanted a fight? I gave you a show.”

**

Later that evening, as he iced his elbow and counted his new bruises, Caelus checked the system log again.

[Next Quest: “Survive Tea with the Empress”]

> Estimated Danger Level: SSS

> Suggested Loadout: 2 escape plans, 1 bribe, and a will.

Caelus sighed. “You know what? I miss Truck-kun.”