[Training Maniac] Title Acquired

Prince Caelus Solari stood shirtless in the morning mist, fists clenched, breath visible in the cold air.

Before him lay his battlefield:

- Three bamboo logs stacked crudely into a training post.

- A bucket of water he was not allowed to drink from until he earned it.

- And a talking wooden dummy named Reginald, who spoke like a retired nobleman and judged like a Catholic aunt.

“Ready for your daily humiliation, my liege?” Reginald intoned, his painted-on mustache somehow condescending.

Caelus cracked his knuckles. “You bet your lacquered face I am.”

Cue Training Montage Music (in Caelus’s head): DUN DUN DA-DA-DUN DUN DA-DA-DUN

He began with pushups.

Day 1: Collapsed after 3.

Day 3: Managed 10.

Day 7: Did 20 while screaming “FOR THE BACON!”

He graduated to bamboo strikes. His hands blistered. Then bled. Then blistered again on top of the old blisters.

>> System Prompt:

>> Pain is weakness leaving the body.

>> In your case, it’s mostly blood, but let’s be optimistic.

Caelus punched the log again.

THWACK!

Then again.

THWACK!

Each strike echoed through the misty courtyard like war drums.

His bones screamed. His muscles cried. His soul asked for a refund.

And still—he hit harder.

Reginald clacked disdainfully. “You swing like an anemic goose with arthritis, Your Highness.”

Caelus snarled. “Then I’ll be the strongest goose in the empire.”

One afternoon, in a burst of pure dumb adrenaline, he lifted the entire bamboo frame above his head.

“I’M A GODDAMN BAMBOO TITAN!”

Then he immediately dropped it on his foot.

>> -3 HP

>> Ow. But stylish.

He ran uphill carrying logs.

He did sit-ups while a maid threw cabbages at him.

He practiced kicks until one accidentally knocked a squirrel out of a tree.

“Strength,” he muttered, teeth gritted, “is earned… one embarrassing grunt at a time.”

>> DING!

[Title Unlocked: Training Maniac]

> Description: “You’re one motivational speech away from punching the moon.”

> +2 STR

> +1 VIT

> Endurance regeneration increased during training.

> Enemies now second-guess your sanity.

[Congratulations! Your body is still trash, but now it's determined trash.]

Caelus collapsed beside the bamboo post, grinning.

“I think I saw God.”

“You saw your spleen,” Reginald replied. “You’ve ruptured it twice this week.”

That night, as he soaked in an herbal bath that smelled like moss and regret, Caelus smiled at his bruised reflection in the mirror.

“I’m getting stronger,” he whispered. “You got this, Trash Prince!”

[Quest Unlocked: “Win One Duel Without Dying”]

> Estimated Time of Completion: 14 years

> Recommended Action: Start panicking now

“Oh, come on!”

**

[System Alert: Training Mode Engaged]

> Warning: You are voluntarily subjecting yourself to pain again.

> Suggested Action: Seek help. Or a brain scan.

Caelus—heir to the throne of disappointment, stood before his “combat training zone” with the grim determination of a man trying to impress a girl who wasn’t even watching… or to non-existent.

Today’s setup included:

- A rope ladder hanging from a tree branch that was definitely not sturdy.

- A set of uneven stone weights marked “borrowed” from the royal garden (aka stolen).

- A wheelbarrow full of chickens he was supposed to “herd through combat drills” for reflex training.

- And, of course, Reginald—the noble dummy—wearing a monocle now. For… aesthetic superiority.

“You again,” Reginald sighed. “And here I thought I'd be used for firewood today.”

“Shut up, plank-face,” Caelus muttered. “I’m evolving.”

>> System Notification:

>> Evolution detected: From Garbage Prince → Garbage Prince (Sweaty Edition)

>> +1 Salt

>> +10 Stubbornness

>> -2 Remaining Brain Cells

Training Objective 1: The Rope Ladder of Death

Caelus gripped the frayed ropes and climbed with all the grace of a drunk walrus.

Halfway up, the branch groaned ominously.

CREEEAK!

[System Alert!]

> You are now 12% airborne. Also, this is how most fantasy protagonists die.

> Would you like to enable “Fall Damage Insurance”?

> [Y/N] → Input not recognized because your hands are sweaty panic blobs.

SNAP!

He crashed into a rose bush. Again.

Reginald peered down. “A majestic descent, Your Highness. Swan-like. If the swan was drunk. And dead.”

Training Objective 2: Reflex Drills – Chicken Edition

He opened the wheelbarrow.

Twenty chickens stared up at him like tiny feathery judges.

“You know the rules,” Caelus muttered. “Don’t peck the face, don’t go for the groin, and no summoning demon poultry this time.”

He unleashed them.

Chaos.

Feathers flew. Squawking erupted. A hen named Maureen locked eyes with Caelus and headbutted his shin with spiritual vengeance.

He flailed like a man in a feathered hurricane.

>> System Commentary:

>> Your dodging has improved by 0.01%.

>> Your dignity has decreased by 87%.

>> Maureen has entered her Second Phase.

“Why is she glowing?!”

Training Objective 3: Strength Conditioning

Caelus grunted, lifting the rock-filled sacks.

One ripped open. Rocks fell. Onto his foot. Again.

Reginald sighed. “Is this… performance art? Or just regular masochism?”

“Shut up,” Caelus gasped. “I’m… doing reps…”

>> System Observation:

>> Current Form: “Gasping Limp Octopus”

>> Core Stability: Mistaken for a sad noodle

>> Bonus: +1 STR for trying

Bonus Challenge: Meditation

Caelus sat cross-legged, hands poised, eyes closed.

He inhaled.

He exhaled.

He—

He sneezed violently into a bush and scared two squirrels into dropping an acorn on his head.

>> Inner Peace Level: -5

>> Congratulations. You are now angrier and covered in squirrel droppings.

LATER THAT NIGHT

Caelus limped back to his room, covered in bandages, chicken scratches, and defeat. He peeled off his shirt like a war veteran removing armor after losing to garden tools.

He stared at his reflection in the mirror.

Battered. Bruised. Beautiful, in a tragic… please-don’t-hug-me-I’m-fragile kind of way.

“You’ll get stronger,” he whispered. “You shall see...”

From the mirror, a chicken stared back.

“...Maureen?!”

[DING! Title Upgraded: Training Maniac → Training Menace]

> You have terrified your training equipment.

> +1 AGI

> +3 Pain Tolerance

> +5 Confused Respect from Random Servants

> Enemies now worry you might bite them in combat.

[New Passive Unlocked: Chicken Whisperer (???)]

[Chickens will follow you. For better or worse.]

“You’re… you’re joking, right?”

[…]

“System?”

[…]

“SYSTEM?’

[New Quest Unlocked: Punch Reginald (Successfully)]

> Current Attempts: 0

> Success Rate: 0.0003%

> Note: He is wooden. You are squishy.

Caelus lay back on his bed and groaned.

“Damn it, System. But you got this, Caelus. One painful day at a time.”

From outside the window, Reginald’s voice drifted:

“Goodnight, my liege. Try not to dream of chickens revolting again.”

“I’M NOT AFRAID OF MAUREEN!”